Why Didn't They Call It The PIZZA-BOT??

Look out, Wonderpizza, there's a new player in the pizza vending machine game. Let's Pizza is setting up the first US pizza vending machine HQ in Atlanta. Not only that, but these machines best the competition by producing pies in just 2.5 minutes and the entire pizza is made from scratch. (Actually, is that really a plus? Flour and water mixed seconds before being baked = bland crust with no time to develop any depth of flavor.) But the real selling point here seems to be the emphasis of sanitation. As pointed out in the SF Gate Inside Scoop post that ran yesterday, these pizzas are all about "total hygiene." My favorite tagline is: "Made without being touched by hands: Pizza made in a human-free environment." Mmmmmm.

This is one of those posts where I wish I could go back into my voluminous archive to find the story I told about the pizza vending machine I loved as a kid. They had one of these working at the base curling club when I was 8 years old. What the hell, North America? It took you 40 years to drag this technology across the sea? I know I didn't just imagine the existence of this device. I would plan my Saturdays around a visit.

I suspect making pizza from scratch to be the 'holy grail' of vending machine products. You get the process right and it would be like having a license to print money. I wonder how they controlled their costs and still come out with an acceptable product. When you can get a decent 10 inch discount pizza at the Superstore for $2.99, you might not want to pay twice that for less crust and toppings.

I remember the pizza that came out of the pizza-bot I knew to be the greatest I ever tasted. The pies were about half this size as the one in the video but were made and cooked right in front of you and ready to eat in about five minutes. The crust was cooked a bit before the toppings were added and that seemed to created the right kind of texture. The smells and anticipation were other great parts of the experience.

Do I really want a robot making my pizza? We all know that from there it's a slippery slope to SKYNET. Being killed by an out of control pizza-bot is not the way I want to go. And as far as that 'not touched by human hands' thing goes - I am pretty sure most pathogens and bacteria are destroyed in the heat of a pizza oven. I need you to pitch me your product in an entirely different way if you want my pizza business, which I assure you, is substantial.

Finally, do you think they could have found an English speaking model to present the product? The writing on the machine is in English and the bad dubbing is freaking me out with it's weird juxtaposition.