Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Sure, We Will Take Him


In a recent issue of Superman comics, the 'Man of Steel' rejected his American citizenship because of the actions of the U.S. Government. I have always thought of him as more as a citizen of the world but here are several reasons I found on Tumblr that back my opinion that he should move to the Great White North.

Why Superman should become a Canadian:

1. Superman’s home, the Fortress of Solitude, is usually located in icy, desolate areas, which we have in abundance. And, like Michael Moore so famously pointed out in Bowling for Columbine, Canadians don’t lock their doors, so Superman can finally ditch that giant yellow key nonsense.

2. We love immigrants and Superman is the ultimate immigrant! Also, in Canada we respect traditional immigrant garb, so Superman’s Kryptonian-inspired super-snug ensemble is totally fine by us. We will not laugh at his outside-the-pants underwear choice. We swear.

3. When teens backpack through Europe they proudly display Canadian flag patches on their gear, even if they’re not from Canada. A couple of patches on Superman’s outfit and he’ll be totally welcomed everywhere, no longer a “tool of the American oppressors,” just “that nice man from Canada who shoots fire from his eyes.”

4. Superman was co-created by a Canadian, Joe Shuster! After 73 years of belonging to America, he could at least spend a year or two here. Out of respect for the man who first drew him.

5. A lot of Canadians work in the United States! Superman could totally keep his job at the Daily Planet. But, if he so chose to continue his journalistic career here in Canada, the Post is hiring (not really. Please don’t send us your résumé, Jimmy Olsen).

6. Superman was raised to be polite, which we value greatly here in Canada. Frankly, we were relieved when that potty-mouth Wolverine moved from Canada to the States. That guy has no manners.

4 comments:

Big J said...

I'm cool with you taking the man of steel, but there are 2 caveats.

1- We keep Batman,Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, and the Flash no contest.

2-You take back Wolverine, that guy sucks.

M. D. Jackson said...

But Superman has been an American for so long. If he were to come to Canada he'd just get a job teaching at a university, then run for leadership of a political party which will get trounced in an election and then have to resign in defeat.

Or am I thinking of someone else...?

Kal said...

Big J - Can we get rid of Deadpool at the the same time. He is just working my last nerve.

Is this guy you are talking about MD have huge eyebrows and look like Count Chocula?

M. D. Jackson said...

Yeah! That's the guy! Hey! Can we trade him for Supes? I'm sure most Canadians would back that deal!