Where is the special red air ambulance (STARS) to pick me up and rush me to the burn unit where specially preserved mammoth skin will be unfrozen and placed over my current damaged epidermis.
Where are the specialists with German last names that have been sought out for medical advice and expertise? Where are the specialists with Romanian sounding last names that have been sought out for knowledge of any mystical damage this wolfbite is doing to me right now.
Well I could treat myself first before alarming the populace with a full press release. Until we know if there will be gangrene we really don't know anything definitive. It will just worry them if they knew I was hurt. It would look like 'Occupy Wall Street' out in my front yard if they had that information.
There will be pus. Oh yes there will be pus. I just keep pushing the button in my home medicine dispenser and nothing is coming out. Somebody stole my antibiotics! Damn American tourists!
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