Saturday, June 9, 2012

Admire The Effort Even If You Are Creeped Out By It's Creator



So this is what 15,008 posts look like. An impressive collection of the beautiful and the madness that comes when someoe mixes his cat's meds with Butterscoth Shnapts. How have I not become a bigger world sensation by this time? I am doomed to only be understood in the years after my death. Can't I enjoy a groupie or three before I die?


I went out last night to try to mingle with people. I thought I looked good. I wore pants and I smelled like the bottom of cedar box full of winter sweaters. I was all but ignored because I give off this vibe of murderous carnival day employee - though one who is an awesome talker.


There has to be some woman out there would wants to tame this 'bad boy' (who is in reality a floating marshmallow who once took a shot in the face to save both an abused woman and her little dog (I pushed them both down in the truck while I watched the windshield explode in front of me.)


I told everyone that an exploding lava lamp did the damage. I still have buckshot in my head and arm and I want to get them pulled out. Any advice from my medical experts out there how to best go about that. I don't want to set off metal detectors and then be subjected to that full abusive pat down.



6 comments:

Wings1295 said...

Congrats! That is quite a prolific accomplishment!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

You are a man among men, Cal. I know you'll find your true lady love one day.

Joe Ackerman said...

I get that, too. I walk in to a pub, everyone thinks I'm there to rob the place. don't worry about mingling with people, that's far too much like hard work. it's much easier to find yourself a nice quiet pub where you can just sit at the bar and read your paper, or a book. trust me. soon as you open the thing, people'll start talking to you. happens every fucking time.

& I wouldn't worry too much about the chick thing, either. that shit'll take care of itself, in it's own good time.

Unknown said...

Cal 15000 that is freaking awesome! Congrats!

Sam G said...

Congrats on the 1500 posts! Don't sweat it Cal people are over-rated.

Simon B said...

15,000 Wow! I'm just approaching 600 posts and I think I'm pretty hot :-)
Still got a long way to go to catch up with you, mate.

Keep on keepin' on, Cal! And, remember, most prophets and geniuses aren't appreciated in their lifetimes... but some are :-)