Friday, June 1, 2012

We Share A Birthday, Alanis and I



"Hands Clean"

If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're a kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it

Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
I've more than honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
What with this distance it seems so obvious?

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cause you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body

Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime


With Marilyn Monroe, Morgan Freeman, Ron Wood, Andy Griffith, Brigham Young and Heidi Klum.















3 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Does Brigham Young really qualify as a celebrity? I know you love Mormons but jeez, c'mon, Cal.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I just like to throw that into their faces...me and Brigham, sharing some whores in the high Utah desert at our co-birthday bash.

Wings1295 said...

You share a birthday with some interesting people, sir! Alanis is one of my favorite singer/songwriters!