Tuesday, December 18, 2012

They Make Me Answer These Questions Against My Will


1: Slept naked / nude?

Never, in case I have to wake up and fight some demon invaders in the middle of the night. Plus I don't like my bare legs touching when I am sleeping. Sleeping bags are a nightmare. You don't want to know.

2: Favourite food?

Curling club made cheese burger and onion rings. Garlic stuffed olives. Fresh bread. Cold seafood salad.


3: Do you like Nutella?

I once went door to door to steal the sample Nutella the company sent out to everyone in my neighborhood. When I was caught I told a lie to some old lady about how they had been recalled by the city. I felt like the Grinch lying to Cindy Lou Who but I love that hazel nut spread very much.

4: Prefer natural juice or soda?

I have a weakness for that cane sugar and the bubbles.

5: Flirt?

I can charm the grilled cheese sammich out of a monkey's lunchbox.

6: Who was the last person you said ”love you” to?

The Chinese food delivery kid. He has a club foot and I felt he needed some positive attention.

7. What would you name any future daughters you may have.

Tamryn or Logan or Skylar so they will be remembered when they do something great like be the first girl to walk on Mars or ride a T-Rex in the snow.


8: Do you like fruit?

I will smooth together fruits that may not even like each other or get together in the wild to enjoy my beloved smoothies. I don't give a shit.

9: Do you take any medication?

Why do you ask? Is my eye doing that twitchie thing again?

10: Is there sickness in your life?

There is sickness everywhere but no more so than in the twisted hearts of men. (Now THAT is good writing.


11: What was the last time you went to the dentist?

When I needed my fangs sharpened.

12: Do you know how to dance?

They call me The Panther on the dance circuit not only because of the black cat costume with cape.


14: Have you told someone a secret?

I would have to kill you if I told you that.

15: What was the last thing you drew?

Sighs from a room full of party goers when I entered the place

16: A moment that will never forget?

Jumping on a movie train when I was 14 that I then rode to Winnipeg for a day in the big city. I was Ferris Bueller before he took his famous day off.


17: a virgin?

Yes, please. In fact I will order two if you are selling them. No I am kidding. Someone deserves a better 'first' memory than I could provide.

18: A film that made you cry?

Legends of the Fall and don't judge me. "Tristan broke every rule of god and man and they all loved him more" - Aidan Quinn.


19: What would you like to receive as a birthday present?

More birthdays - I have not even started my bitching.

20: What is the favourite flavour of gum?

Bubble gum flavor. Who knew?

21: Do you miss something? what?

My self respect.

22: A person who marked your life and went away?

She knows who she is and she will never forget me in return no matter how hard she tries. I still think of my Father everyday.

23: Name of your first Girlfriend (a)?

Tara Crandall who I once walked through the falling snow with. We were supposed to be looking for my friend Danny but we just stopped at each apartment building to make out. Hours later we came home and feel asleep under the blankets in front of a fire. I was only 15 and it was the most romantic moment of my life. She smelled like cherry lip gloss and bubble gum.


24: How long have you had tumblr?

5  years. A conspiracy of those who think they are my betters kept me ignorant and uninformed for way too long. Nothing calms me more than a nice trip through my dashboard.

25: Do you like barbecue?

I can think of nothing I don't like about barbecue.

26: Do you like films?

I live for films and I have suffered for films, especially barbecue films

28: What day of the week do you prefer?

Everyday is a Friday around here.

29: Sunday is a great day for …


30: Name the last person you talked to?

I don't have those kind of associates.

31: A song that sticks in your head?



32: The name of a person you do not support?

Any celebrity who does nothing to earn their fame. Say what you want about Charlie Sheen but at least he TRIES to be crazy and outrageous. And when can we finally be done with ditch pigs like Linsay Lohan, Christine Aquilara and the brood of Kardashians? I am pretty sick of professional hockey players at this point and the US Senate and the guns. I say the Thunderdome for the lot of them.

33: A reason to end a relationship with your girlfriend (a)?

She took my time machine and changed history - and not for the better. But I have said too much already.


34: The best time of day?

The line between dusk and dawn

35: Beach or field?

There are evils in the field that at least go to sleep. But the beach....

36: A field / discipline that you do not support?

Any religious philosophy that tries to get me to buy the bullshit they are selling but don't put any effort into making their beliefs appealing. Magic Underwear, Golden Plates and post dead baptisms are goofy and only an idiot desires multiple wives. Yeh, that's what I want most, three or four women mad at me at the same time. Morman pussy isn't worth that and those hairstyles are a turn off, man.

37: The name of the professor / teacher who was your favorite?

Jaime Escalante, math teacher, Garfield High School, East Lost Angeles. His life story was told in the film - Stand and Deliver.


38: Worst moment that has passed?

The death of my father. I had never seen death but I looked...and always remember.

39: Something makes you sad?

Read above

40: Something that makes you happy?

Chicken wings. The end to this cycle of the Amazing Race - The Beakman Boys? Who would have ever thunk it?

41: Do you have many followers?

I am legion....when those numnuts are not UNFOLLOWING me.

42: Have you had someone crush on you?

Never or they never told me.

43: Who is the most important person to you?

My mother. She is always so good to me.

44: What if your mother died?

Then I fear for this world for my wrath will be most terrible. It will be like the end of the Godfather for my hillbilly relations. There was a reason Fredo wasn't killed until the sequel.

45: A singer you like?

Adele is a force of nature. Freddy Mercury is timeless.


46: Someone who admires you?

I don't inspire that kind of behavior.

47: Have you smoked?

Only some Old Toby but that is medicinal

48: Drink vodka?

I drink anything distilled from the mighty potato


49: What is the name of the person who inspires you?


50: A book I‘ve read and reread several times?

Dune - I go back to it year after year.


51: Favourite Actor?

George Clooney is one hell of a movie star.

 

2 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Entertaining as always, Cal! May you be blessed with the juice of the potato.

Anonymous said...

Last film I saw that made me cry: Cloud Atlas