Monday, May 4, 2009

Its All Over


Well I think I have caught the flu. And like the nancy boy I am I am totally blowing my symptoms and general prognosis for recovery out of proportion. All that talk about swine flu has contributed to my freak out especially since it was revealed that actual Alberta piggies have be found to be carrying the virus. We even have a huge pork processing plant in our town so I was at a greater risk to die here at ground zero than any other place I could be. The only upside is that I can consume copious amount of Niquil...the wonder potion from Vicks, that is the cure to all your ills. I love the color of Niquil. That green is so soothing and beautiful especially the green hue of the Liquicaps. The non-drowsy DayQuil pills are orange but they don't make you loopy so why would I want those? However, its important to take the Niquil and just go to sleep. If you try to stay up, try to extend your buzz, fight the active ingredients, I find that you can get what I like to call 'Niquil Psychosis'. Any of you who has experienced this can describe the nightmares that wake you up screaming and sweat soaked. Combine that with the shadow people I have been seeing just off the corner of my eye lately and it will be time for a long stay at the 'spa'. You know the one...where you get to wear your pjs all day long and they even supply you with cool comfy slippers. So if I post anything that seems off...like I suspect my cat is trying to kill me or sign over power of attorney to him then send me an email reminder that its all okay.

Thanks

My unlimited love to you all,

Calvin

3 comments:

Chase March said...

Get Well Soon!

Hopefully you just have a regular cold. Don't pay attention to all the media's doom and gloom.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Get better quick. You seem to be the only other blogger aside from me who does multiple posts every day.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Its the penance for all my sins. My flu affected posts might actually be better and I have an excuse if they are not.