Monday, August 23, 2010

Asian Carp Invasion

I am one of those people who doesn't enjoy fishing. I like being on the boat and I will bait the hook and put the pole in the water but once something bites, then it's no longer my responsibility. I would rather toss the fishing pole in the water than retrieve what is on the other end of the line. I hate things that come wriggling out of the water and suffer it's last gasps of life on the floor in front of me. I have always been that way.

I hate the ocean. I figure that if I ANNOUNCE that I am entering the water then anything within a meter of my body should know that to touch me is going to cause an tremendous freak out on my behalf. 7/10s of the Earth is water and you got to stand that close to me. FUCK OFF FISH!

So you can imagine my reaction when I saw this footage of the invasive Asian carp. If I was on the boat I would be going for the lever to make the boat go as fast as possible, preferably onto land. It's not funny or cute, it terrifying. I swear if one landed ON the boat, there would be some swinging of machete going on and I wouldn't be able to guarantee no collateral damage would occur. That is how much this footage freaks me out.

Now imagine the same movie only with OCTOPUS and now you know why I fight them. I fight what I fear and I fear flying cephalopods the most. Oh boy, it's going to be nightmare time tonight in the Cal's big boy bed. Gah!


Unknown said...

Thats pretty sick..I spend all this money on fishing gear and all ya gotta do is drive around and around.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I hate fishing too, but if all I had to do was drive my boat across the water, I'd give it a try!