Monday, August 23, 2010

Asian Carp Invasion

I am one of those people who doesn't enjoy fishing. I like being on the boat and I will bait the hook and put the pole in the water but once something bites, then it's no longer my responsibility. I would rather toss the fishing pole in the water than retrieve what is on the other end of the line. I hate things that come wriggling out of the water and suffer it's last gasps of life on the floor in front of me. I have always been that way.

I hate the ocean. I figure that if I ANNOUNCE that I am entering the water then anything within a meter of my body should know that to touch me is going to cause an tremendous freak out on my behalf. 7/10s of the Earth is water and you got to stand that close to me. FUCK OFF FISH!



So you can imagine my reaction when I saw this footage of the invasive Asian carp. If I was on the boat I would be going for the lever to make the boat go as fast as possible, preferably onto land. It's not funny or cute, it terrifying. I swear if one landed ON the boat, there would be some swinging of machete going on and I wouldn't be able to guarantee no collateral damage would occur. That is how much this footage freaks me out.

Now imagine the same movie only with OCTOPUS and now you know why I fight them. I fight what I fear and I fear flying cephalopods the most. Oh boy, it's going to be nightmare time tonight in the Cal's big boy bed. Gah!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Thats pretty sick..I spend all this money on fishing gear and all ya gotta do is drive around and around.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I hate fishing too, but if all I had to do was drive my boat across the water, I'd give it a try!