Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I HATE HATE HATE THESE GUYS


Of all the shows made for children in the history of TV, the stupidest and laziest show was 'The Banana Splits'.

What were they suppose to be anyways? Theme park mascots running crazy when the part was closed? 70s pop group? Dipshits? I vote the third one.

They were never funny or entertaining in the least. Even as a bored kid I would watch anything but them but my little sister liked them so they were on our TV most everyday. Thanks for the motivation to take up other hobbies than watching TV, Mom.

They were not even worth my wasted time and since their mouths never moved they could only express two emotions - surprise when they lifted both arms to open palms and shock when they grabbed their faces. Oh I suppose they could also hold their stomach from laughing too hard if they WERE EVER FUNNY!

I guess one was suppose to be black from his jive talk and cool shades and one was mute because the writers couldn't think of enough for 4 stupid puppets to say. I could fogive the actions of the mascots if they were the only part of an already bad show but they were just the bumpers between some of the worse cartoons and live action serials every produced. Remember that stupid island with the dumb pirates and wild natives always running around? 'Danger Island' was the name I think and it starred a young Jan Michael Vincent. Yipes!

Their cartoons made Woody Woodpecker seem like Mr Peabody and Sherman.

Look how much I ranted just seeing this picture show up on Tumblr. I don't hate many things with the passion or purity of my hatred for the cephalopod but these idiots come damn close.

I can respect the octopus for what a remarkably outworldly and strangely beautiful creature that it is. I can respect the effort that the octopus puts into being as asshole 24/7.

With these felt bags, however, it's just the lack of effort, the tackiness, the lame and unfunniness of it all. No redeeming human value whatsoever.

Fuck the Banana Splits and if you like them don't try to defend yourself - just let it remain something unspoken between us. I could not respect you anymore if you liked that show and I don't want to look at you with pity in my eyes from this day forward. However, if, like me, you despise them, then feel free to pile on. Let the bashing begin.

11 comments:

Wings1295 said...

I used to like the Banana Splits! Fleagle was my favorite. Used to love the cartoons, and even the weird live action stuff, like Tom Sawyer/Huck Finn/Becky Thatcher stuff. Good memories, for me.

Wings1295 said...

Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la...

csmith2884 said...

Damn I think I smell some pent-up hostility here. A Dennis Miller like rant for a 30-year-long-gone-bad cartoon.
That said I found them creepy as a kid them and H.R.Puffinstuff? Was that the name of the equaly bad sid and marty croft show?

DrGoat said...

I was already about 25 when these abortions came out. Made Bennie and Cecil look like a Warner Bros. cartoon.
OK, I liked Cecil.

Lazarus Lupin said...

sorry will disagree with you there, and that's cool different scenes for different genes. I saw the splitz in the roll of emcee so didn't worry as muchabout their entertainment value.

Lazarus Lupin
http://strangespanner.blogspot.com/
art and review

Professor Chaos said...

I used to see the opening of the show right before we had to leave for school. I always wished I could watch it. Sounds like I didn't miss much.

Megan said...

I couldn't stand it, myself.

vancouver mark said...

For once we are united.
Always wanted to hit that elephant guy with a shovel. I disliked them all but especially HATED him. And i wanted to catch the lion's tail in my car door and then drive away fast. The dog had a cute face so I would have stuffed and mounted him on my bedroom wall. The ape on the other hand was scary, so I'd lure him into a fire or something. Really didn't like this show.
I had friends in grade four or five who would insist on watching it after school, even when they had a freaking guest over and Rocket Robin Hood was on the other channel. Idiots.

I did rather like HR Puffinstuff, on the other hand.

M. D. Jackson said...

Well, you and I have already had our "agree to disagree" about these guys many posts back. The only thing I have to add is that the guy who did the voice of one of the characters, Fleagle, is the same voice behind Tony the Tiger and Tigger from the Disney Winnie the Pooh.

There. There's a nice bit of trivia for you.

vancouver mark said...

Fleagle was the dog, right? Another reason why I liked him enough to mount his head instead of dragging him behind the old station wagon.

Kal said...

I just don't get them M.D. It's like they talked down to me and really didn't have to. We had a bad ventriloquist show out of Winnipeg that did that enough to us.