Wednesday, August 11, 2010

It's DO BEE The Birth Control Bee


As a kid we used to call condoms, 'doobies' mostly because we had never seen a marijuana cigarette, which in street slang is also referred to as a 'doobie'. So whenever we would see the poor silent bastard in the 'Mr Do-Bee' bee costume on Romper Room, we would call him the 'birth control bee'. (Similarly the Doobie Brothers rock group were know as the 'Birth Control Brothers' in my neighborhood.)

I never trusted that bee because in order to teach safe sex he basically had to put on a pantomime of himself dry humping my girlfriend in order to get his point across. Freak! Pervert!

He also enabled the evil Miss Fran to do the voodoo that she did. Magic mirror? Fuck off. I was watching many times and she never called out my name but mentioned Tom, Dick and Sally most everyday. It's a scandal I tells ya.

Now you know why seeing this character drives me into a feverish rage. Stupid bee. Never trust a bee that smiles in your face. Only the ones with a touch of anger in their eyes will back you up when the time comes.

8 comments:

M. D. Jackson said...

I never heard my name called in the Magic Mirror either, which is weird because my name is the #1 boy's name for the last 20 years.

A scandal, indeed. It was the MAN... the FRAN... keepin' us down!

DB Stewart said...

My Grade one teacher used the Do Bee to teach us grammar. She smelled really good but I think she was messed up.

Kal said...

Anyones who invokes the power of the Demon Bee is messed up. She never mentioned my name because I wasn't buying what the bitch was selling - bike safely? traffic safety? Spelling? I was having none of it.

DrGoat said...

Being a kid in the 50s, I never watched Romper Room. And after reading this, I'm glad I spent my kid time with Captain Kangaroo.....who had his own issues, but Bunny Rabbit kept him on his toes. You're right about the bees. A natural bee is a bi-polar bee. Ready to fight at the drop of a hat.

Kal said...

I remember that the Do Bee on RR would just TOWER over the kids. Combine that with the fact that he never spoke was a double freak out for me. JUST FUCKING TALK YOU FUCKED UP BEE, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING!!!! Romper Room just messed me up - well that and Circle Square Ranch - bad kid actors and religion tossed in...GAH!

Mr Fran said...

Knock it off, you jerks. Miss Fran did over 3,000 live weekday shows and I watched them all. She saw you in her Magic Mirrors but did not name little squirts jerking off in their pajamas. (You weren't the only one.) My son, age 12, was Mr. DoBee, You had to be really small for him to tower over you. Good luck on your traffic safety and spelling. Keep "bouncing and bouncing your balls" and some day it will "come" to you. Just study "hard."
Sincerely, Mr. Fran.

Kal said...

Those episodes took a little piece of her soul each day. All she was left with was muderous rage in her cold dead eyes. We knew she had sold her soul to the Devil and that Do Bee held onto all the paperwork from that 'arrangement'.

Oh, and Mr Fran, I too watched many of those shows and at the odd time I wasn't masterbating in my pjs you would have thought she would have seen me and gave me just a little encouragement.

To know that she DID see but at the same time didn't say my name is actually MORE EVIL than anything nefarious that she had done. That is just mean.

Tempo said...

Very funny...very, very funny. We didnt get that perverted bee thing here in OZ. But I feel sorry for you and your generation who had to put up with such things...it's no wonder you're all sick and twisted... :-)