Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Mom And The Russian Mob


My 70 year old Mother came home today and told me a story about her adventures at the bank.

She was waiting in line and saw a guy come in with a shoebox FULL of money. He didn't speak a word of English. She heard him talking to the teller and noticed he was speaking Russian so she offered the translate. Seems the guy had won the money at the casino playing poker or so he said. My mother noticed that he seemed to be ex-military from the way he carried himself and he told her to tell the teller that he was just 'delivering' the cash and there might be more to deposit in the next few days.

Of course she came home with questions about the whole weird incident. It didn't help her when I spun wildly imaginative tales about the Russian mob that I had learned from watching 'Law and Order'. Of course if he deposited more than ten thousand dollars he will be on someone's investigative radar. It was fun to speculate about the source of the money. Maybe her meeting him in the bank was no accident. Maybe it was planned all along?

Great. So now my mother is a translator for the Russian mob. No wonder she got stopped and checked the last time she flew to BC. Come to think of it they might have recruited her when she went to the Ukraine a few years ago. She always seemed shifty to me but I will keep my mouth shut and my eyes on her lest she make that 'one' phone call that gets me cut up and mailed back to myself.

7 comments:

M. D. Jackson said...

If she starts getting tattoos on her arms in Cyrillic, you should probably call CSIS. Not so they can arrest your Mom, but YOU might need to go into the witness protection program.

Kal said...

I have my hobo bindle ready to go.

She won't get those Russian tattoos however. I know this because those would cover up the ones she already has from her time in the Yakuza.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

You be careful about eating the food she prepares for you too.
xoRobyn

Kal said...

She reminded me the other day that antifreeze can be put into any sweet drink and is virtually undetectable by the person drinking it.

DrGoat said...

Thanks for that info, Cal. Might come in handy. And remember, don't mess with the Ukraineians. They own a scrapyard.

Neil said...

Hmmmm.... You've got me thinking now. The last time time we flew, my wife got "selected" for the "random" security screening five times. Maybe SHE'S on someone's radar?

Kal said...

It's all some women's cabal that is ready to cut all our throats when the word comes down from their headquarters.