The Films I Watched While The WiFi Was Down For Three Days

Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger

The first thing I noticed missing from this film is that at no time is the Eye of the Tiger mentioned in the film. It's nothing they search for and it has nothing to do with the determination of a fighter like Rocky Balboa. Sinbad needs no such motivation to just be Sinbad. This time he is played by Patrick Wayne the son of John Wayne. Wayne has all the acting skills of a young David Hasselhoff so don't expect much. Jane Seymour is also very young and very pretty in one of her first roles.

The creatures in this fantasy were created by the great Ray Harryhaussen but most seem lazy as he and his team try to replicate killer creatures we already know much about with his stop motion style. Baboons, Siberian Tiger, Walrus, a Wasp but not the pigeon? I wanted more fantastical creations but the only one they did create, Minatron never does very much of anything despite looking so damn COOL.

Compared to modern CGI, the Dynarama process that Harryhauusen used seems it was made on a home computer which was more computer power than Ray had available at the time so I cut him some slack for that. I suspect he was distracted by his making of Clash of Titans what would come out two years later. There he got back to what he did best which much better and more thrilling results.

The dialogue and script are horrendous and most kids over the age of eight will be rolling their eyes until their eyes stick that way. Don't think about what you are watching. Just enjoy this childhood favorite which dazzled me at age 12. Was I ever that young and simple?

The Vault

Nothing like a great heist movie when it's done right. This one is done very well and holds the audience in rapt interest for the entire film. You very much want our team of 'thieves' to succeed and that make me care about those I should care about and makes me hate anyone trying to get in their way and prevent such a master theft from happening. It's a fascinating dynamic. I like the cast, especially a young genius who finds a mentor in a billionaire scavenger. They are mostly all new to me and that was a nice revelation as well.

The Madrid setting is beautiful and the use of crowds of Spanish celebrating their country's World Cup victory, is genius. During the big game is the ONLY time to rob the most secure bank in Europe. That cheering fan footage was very well used and is key to the outcome of the film. I enjoyed being in the world and feeling what it must be like to celebrate something, ANYTHING with that kind of PASSION - another important theme of the film. I like how this movie just gives us more than we deserve and pays off nicely in the end. It's exciting and I would very much enjoy a sequel.

The Superdeep

Take one Russian crew including soldiers/cannon fodder, a Russian operachik, several scientists, an engineer and a cute Russian epidemiologist and send them on a last minute crucial mission set in the wastelands of Siberia. She is sent in with her 'team' after the previous 'team' went missing while investigating a 12000 meter deep secret lab. That is super deep under the ground, hence the title. Of course everything goes wrong and monsters are released as our team gets thinned out and learn what happen to those who came before them. The setting is sparse and since everything happens over a few hours, the tension can be intense at times.

With an aura of fear like this everyone should be running around like maniacs but the female lead  moves WAY TOO SLOW in situations where she should be running her ass off as fast as she possibly can. I love these kinds of films so I can be accused of going soft on them. This one creates a truly terrifying pressure and has a great monster for a RUSSIAN made creature feature. I enjoyed the slimmed down nature of the production and the music. The actors are all good and game. While the story is a million years old, it's a good telling. Just know you are getting just what you expect and nothing more.

Knives Out

The movie is memorable by it's sheer genius of taking a 'who done it' and focusing on what happens AFTER the audience knows who the 'murderer' is, something that happens within the first 25 minutes of the film. That brilliant twist is just the start of one of the best detective films I have ever seen with a performance by Daniel Craig that is old school Oscar Bait. It's like Tennessee Williams showed up to solve a classic chamber murder mystery in one of the wealthy communities in the North East. The rest of the cast is top notch with young Anna De Armas holding her own against many seasoned veterans. The last scene will make you smile and you will recommend this one to all your friends. It was one I kept in the chamber for just that time I needed a movie to watch and it more than filled that bill. Believe the hype. Knives Out is the real deal and the less I tell you about it the better.