Saturday, March 31, 2012

Caturday Captions

Because This Is The Kind Of Girl I REALLY Find Attactive

Design Time

My Open Letter To Prick Santorum

If you can't repress the urge to say the word then you are immediately disqualified for running for your country's highest office. NO NO NO...there is no explanation or argument. No equivalency and no more of your bullshit. FUCK YOU RICK SANTORUM. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. Let that ring in your ears for the rest of your days...FUCK YOU!! But, wait...don't leave yet. We still need to beat the shit out of you before you FUCK OFF! First you get beaten by a horde of fifth graders then you FUCK OFF! Here, I bought you an alarm clock. It wakes you up by reminding you to FUCK OFF! What's for dinner? A steaming bowl of FUCK OFF!


I may not have students, children or friends of my own but I have never had a problem celebrating the successes of others - especially people I am close too.

I remember the relationships being the best part of teaching. When it came time to give out the awards it was great to see good people get recognized for their efforts. Validation is really the greatest gift you can give another person.

In that spirit I reblog the images and comments from last night when Canadian sweetheart, Danielle, got what she deserved. She really is the `cat`s pjamas`.

I love following her life. Another example of only the very coolest of people, places, things, and events get featured her at the 'Cave of Cool'. Our gift to you for all your loyalty.

Me and the winning male student accepting the scholarship/award. There will be professional photos up on the school website in the next week or so. My dad took this one, haha.

This is boyfriend Michael. He charmed the Mom and Dad, which we all know is the most important quality anyone can demand from a mate. He is the exact type of guy I would have chosen for Danielle if given a list of qualities.

Another in what will be a lifetime of rewards and accolades. Yeh, I am a fan - so what? The girl is magnificent, just like most of the girls in your life. If you have one of these rare and precious creatures around you, take the time to let her know how magical she really is. I guarantee you cannot tell her things like that enough.

I Am Having A Love Affair With My Garlic Baquette

I restrict my intact of bread during the week. You have no idea how incredibly difficult that is for me. In the winter mornings I love to have a hot chocolate with 2 pieces of raisin toast. Galic bread gives me an erections and a fresh long loaf of fresh garlic baquette just about has me making reckless sexual choices.

However in all the excitement at finding a jar of hot banana pepper rings, I forgot about my garlic stuffed olives in virgin olive oil. That is what got me out of the cave in the first place. GRRRRR.

I DID find a small bottle of Disaronno Italian liquer though. That little bottle of 28% alcohal packs a bit of a punch for a guy that doesn`t drink. Well I have the occasional vodka and cranberry because booze made from potatoes is the only thing that doesn`t make me violently ill the next day.

Saturdays With Superman

The Sugar Roller Coaster and 'The Descendants'

Friday March 30

I have fasted for the last 16 hours. Wasn't so bad until this morning when I could smell the toast cooking. My blood was a normal 6.2 (7-10 is normal) when I went to the clinic. After NINE viles of blood, they gave me some yummy sweet orange Kool-Aid to drink. It was designed to make my blood spike so they could then see how my body deals with the intense sugar rush. I had to sit and wait 2 hours in the clinic just in case all that sugar made me loopy.

The drink - which I have dubbed the Kool-Aid of Paradise tasted just like that great sweet orange drink that they used to have at McDonalds or like Kool-Aid that you mixed yourself when you were a kid. You know you always put more sugar into the jug than you needed too. That was the whole point. No wonder I was such a hummingbird as a kid. I was mainlining the sugar directly into my system daily. Thanks for the look-out Mom and Dad.

So there I sat with the little timer that ticked down my 2 hour exile.

It was a slow day so I just sat by myself in one corner with my little personal DVD player and I watched 'The Descendants' - a most excellent film starring the most excellent George Clooney. I owe this movie a full review. It's one of my favorite Clooney projects and that is saying alot. As you know, my love for the man is deep and unlimited.

I started to think about what kind of a picture that I made sitting there - large heavily bearded man in a hoodie watching a video by himself. I had a large gym bag on the other chair. I should have just worn a trenchcoat and completed the whole freaky image.

I tested my blood about an hour or so into my confinement and it had spiked to 12.2. I haven't seen that kind of number in about 8 months. I sat for the next hour feeling my cells dying. Again I was thankful I had a good movie to watch.

Have I mentioned how good 'The Descendants' is? Aside from the aforementioned George Clooney, the movie is packed with pitch perfect performance.

Shailene Woodley (The Secret Life Of The American Teenager) keeps up the tradition of Clooney movies with strong female co-stars. Her role as angry daughter Alexandra shines as brightly as Clooney. Like with Anna Kendrick is 'Up in the Air', Woodley is able to keep up and even outdo Clooney at times.

The father/daughter relationship is never predictable or maudlin or mocking. The kid does not know everything but neither does the dad - they both give each other the benefit of the doubt to make the best decisions they can for their family.

There are several moments where a character will react to something unexpectedly said to them with silence and not an immediate outburst of counter arguments. It's much more effective storytelling when you allow such subtle character growth.

10 year old Scottie comes across like every other ten year old that I have ever met - so self-involved that they don't notice much of anything around their immediate needs. They have to be supervised even more than a toddler lest they go off the rails. Amara Miller is another young actress of enormous talent.

That is what this movie is all about - lots of really talented people telling a really interesting story. It's a about a real time in a real place with people dealing with unreal circumstances that will either save or destroy their lives as a family. If that makes everything seem so dire then I missed my point. It's about getting hit with one tough decision after another and making it out the other side more whole than before.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fantastic characterization that Nick Krause delivers as Alexandra's friend. Sid, for me, is the true heart at the center of this film.

George Clooney may be the star of Alexander Payne’s new dramedy The Descendants, but 19-year-old Austin native Nick Krause steals every scene he’s in. Krause is Sid, the goofy platonic friend of Clooney’s daughter Alexandra (The Secret Life of the American Teenage’s Shailene Woodley). Sid lends moral support to Alexandra at a time when her mother is on life support and her father is consumed with selling his family’s ancestral land in Hawaii. Krause also provides much of the comic relief in The Descendants.

I found a really great review of this film that says everything I would like to say but am too sugar confused to properly think out the words in coherent order. Read it by going HERE

'The Descendants' is a really terrific film that I sure will stick with me for a long time. Just when I get all judgmental and cynical about the movies, someone reminds me of all the reasons I love film so much in the first place.

So I finally serve my time and then went to the store to grab me something good to eat. So what did I go for? Deli pepperoni, garlic stuffed olives, peppers full of feta cheese, a prepared Caesar salad and a garlic french baguette....and a piece of pizza. It was so great to inhale that cheesy goodness.

I checked my blood as soon as I got home and it had crashed to 3.4 which is really great because that means my body was able to deal with the increase in sugar from the Koolaid of Paradise in a regular and efficient way.

The relief from that realization probably has a lot to do with me actually falling asleep early and getting a good 9 hours of straight rest. I feel a bit weird this Caturday morning - weird in a good way.

The sunrise is coming through the window now. Life is good.