Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Blind Side Blind Sided Me

There are times that I will come across a much hyped film and for some reason I just keep putting off seeing it. The greater the hype usually equates to the less likelihood that I will watch that movie. For that reason I got to get to them quick or I may never get to them. E.T. is a prime example. I was at the perfect age to enjoy that movie when it first came out but due to it's enormous popularity I have NEVER seen it. 'Titanic' was the same too until I came across it one night on a movie channel.

For this reason 'The Blind Side' has sat in my documents folder until last night. Shame on you Sandra Bullock. You punished my oversight by shamelessly playing my emotions until I had no choice but to weep openly.

Basically the story is this. Rich white lady takes in poor black teen, gives him a family for the first time in his life, gets him help with his education, boy become college football star, boy gets drafted by NFL. Damn your real-life motivation true stories. I thought I was immune.

I though I could mock you being all spunky and ballsy, Sandra Bullock. But no. You made me your bitch. Your emotional, manipulated bitch. For ninety whole minutes then at the end, when I thought you were done with me, you show me a series of photos of the actual people this story happened to. WEPT! I WEPT! I hate you Sandra Bullock but I love you too.

Watch this movie at your peril. If you think its unmanly to cry then don't watch it in front of those who will mock you. Watch it with your girl - she will cry, you will cry, love will bloom. The End.

Ragtime (1981)

I have always been fascinated with the decades after the Civil War and before World War I. In so many ways the 'old world' was desperately trying to hold on to the status quo while social, industrial and economic changes swirled all around it. It took the carnage of the first World War to force change - change that was not always for the better. Immigration was altering the face of America but racism was especially strong. Whites fought harder than ever to resist black social advancement and a fear of change hung over everything. Neither government or the justice system seemed ready to make laws to the benefit of non-whites lest there be a heavy social backlash.

Like in Victorian England, sexuality was also repressed but was strongly represented in advertising and the arts. The so-called 'Gibson Girl', a model with specific features, became the standard of beauty. Girls with an hourglass shape, larger breasts and long hair put up were used to sell everything from soap to salt. The image was everywhere. Evelyn Nesbit (a radiant Elizabeth McGoveren) was a model who fit these features and posed for many artists in and around New York. She moved in high society circles and had affairs with many powerful and influential men - most notably Sanford White, a wealthy industrialist.

One of the film's many character streams involves the murder of White by Nesbit's husband Harry Thaw who was jealous of the man his wife had been with when she was still in her teens. It was rumored that a naked statue put up in New York by White was based on Nesbit's body. Of course this infuriated the unstable Thaw. He felt the statue was 'rubbing his nose in it'. In 1906 Thaw shot White dead in a crowded hall (Madison Square Gardens). The movie covers the two show trials that followed. In the early days of newspapers this was a tabloid scandal too hot to resist. The comparisons between now and then cannot be overlooked but it's interesting to see the work of tabloid journalism in it's infancy.

The set pieces are amazing as are the scenes of life at the time. From the immigrant communities of New York to the seats of power you get it all. Early automobiles run alongside horse drawn wagons.

Another major story tread involves Oscar nominated Harold Rollins Jr. as Coal House Walker. A black piano player who feels the sting of racial injustice as he tries to rise above his station in life. He is incensed at the way he is treated by the police after his car is damaged by a group of racist firefighters. How he deals with what happens to him provides much of the drama of the film and sets up the contrast between how rich and poor was the dividing line in this new Century America.

The movie moves at a luxurious pace and you can just relax into it and enjoy this period piece. There are too many recognizable stars to mention them all but they include James Cagney as the police chief of New York in what is commonly believed to be his last movie role. Booksteve reminded me that this was not so. It was great to see him regardless. Other stars include Pat O'Brian, Mary Steenburgen, Mandy Patinkin, Jeff Daniels, Samuel L. Jackson and even Jack Nicolson who is listed as 'pirate on beach'. The film was nominated for eight academy awards include Rollins as best actor. It only won one for costume design. It's interesting to see how all these different posters highlight different facets of the story.

Happy New Year From The Cave Of Cool

Thanks to all those of you that I have met in the past year. Your contributions to my life mean more to me than you will ever know. Let's all hope that the next year and decade is better for us all. No zombie apocalypse, no alien invasions, and the fear of God put into all the haters and nut jobs out there trying to bring us down. Together we can fix this tiny mudball at the ass end of space. Keep the faith, stay thirsty, speak your minds and keep fucking that chicken (phrase of the decade). My unlimited love to you all...Cal

"If You Don't Wake Up Now...

...I am gonna have to swat that huge spider off your face for you."

Looking Good Baby

Is it wrong that I kinda wish girls came in a variety of colors like this? The color contrast between skin tone and dress is fabulous.

The Great Escape

"Just talking with my buddy the Tiger Mr Zoo keeper. Nothing suspicious going on. Oh THIS shirt? If you MUST know I was just about to wrap it for your birthday. Way to ruin the surprise. Why is the zebra waving at me from the van on the other side of that fence over there? Who knows with zebras these days. Am I riiiiight?"

Fearless The Kitty

"Lady, you want to get your dog out of my face before I bitch slap him back to his puppy days. I will hit him so hard he will get a speeding ticket going through Toronto. I will hit him so hard that when he wakes up his collar will be out of style. I will hit him so hard it will kill his whole litter."

I Think That Boat Has Already Sailed

"Am I riiiiiight?"

We Both Served Hot Dogs At That Picnic

'sup Bitches?

Save the Lego - Save the World

I know some of you are a pretty hard sell when I talk about the reasons to fight the Cephalopod Menance. Hopefully THIS abomination will convice all my geek brothers and sisters that the tentacled ones have to be stopped NOW. If you let them infiltrate our beloved Lego then you are no better than a colaborator. Well all know that there is only ONE thing to do with a colaborator, don't we?

Kitty Approves Of The New Girlfriend

Things I Am Looking Forward To In 2010

1. A new season of '24' and many other of my favorite shows like 'Burn Notice' and 'Warehouse 13'. I love television. If I could I would marry television. It is always there to help me laugh or cry and my favorite programs are comfortable, reliable, touchstones in my week. They give each and everyday a new flavor. Sure the medium can produce some really stupid crap (anyone seen 'Hole in the Wall'?) but that is what makes it great. Everyone competing for my time and attention.

I look forward to the new television season like people look forward to a new hockey season or the first day of school. With the fractured nature of TV, new series are starting up all the time throughout the year not just in the fall. Shows like the 'Amazing Race', 'Dancing With the Stars' and the batshit crazy British edition of celebrity 'Big Brother' are shows I can watch with my mother. Our ability to share those shows is a great way for us to interact with each other and build memories. Hell she LOVES old episodes of 'Married With Children'!!! No word of a lie. Al Bundy is her hero. That's why I love her. My father loved TV too and I have great memories of solving crimes with him like we were a real detective team.

This may all sound pathetic to some of you but TV enriches my life.

2. My mission to become 'The Most Interesting Man In the World'. I love those commercials and now that I have my blog running smoothly and my other ducks all in a row I am determined to change a few parts of my life and become more of the person that I was always hoping to be. Dear readers, you will hear more about this as the year progresses but be assured that you will be telling everyone that "I knew Cal when he was just a goof. Now look at him." My blog gives me alot of validation that I have been missing out on in my life for a long time. I have a fresh perspective on things and the determination to rule the world. Don't worry. Mine will be a benevolent empire and the flag will be kick-ass.

Stay thirsty my friends.

3. Superman's return to his own comic and costume. For most of 2009 Superman has left earth to be on New Krypton (don't ask) and that whole storyline is just dragging out. Instead of being Superman he turned things over to Mon-el and now is the general in charge of Krypton's forces. Instead of a couple of Kryptonians in our solar system there are 100,000 of them from the bottle city of Kandor. They live on a planet that revolves opposite of us around the sun. Think of how dumb that is. 100,000 people with the same powers as Superman. Like was said in the 'Incredibles' - when everyone has superpowers no one will be special. I can only see this ending poorly because they have written themselves into a corner. I love Superman and I want to see him back where he belongs as the only Kryptonian (well we can also keep Supergirl, Krypto the super dog and Streaky the super cat). Comics can be so frustrating sometimes especially the stuff put out by Marvel and DC. Thankfully I have 'Invincible', 'Irredeemable', 'Incorruptible', 'Walking Dead', 'Guardians of the Galaxy' and 'Pet Avengers' to enjoy.

Things I Am Not Looking Forward In 2010

Before I sink into a corner and start repeating the 'Meow Mix' song over and over again here are things I am not looking forward to in the new year.

1. Celebrity - that is unearned. I have finally reached my limit with all the trapping/culture surrounding this cult activity. If only we could get rid of the little fish who try to be noticed by all the 'media' pointing out the foibles of the bigger fish then maybe our world would improve. When you start to seek out attention because you were the one night stand whore of a golfer then the wheels have truly come off the bus. Nobody cares and your parents are embarrassed for you.

More attention spent on real heroes like soldiers, teachers, daycare workers, pilots who land their planes on the water and nurses and less on grubs who bring NOTHING to civilization and use way too much of its oxygen would make this world actually livable again.

2. Lady Ga Ga - the only thing that would shock me now would be if you actually admitted you were a man before Fergie does. Your act is old and tired. You say you are giving me 'fashion' but you are actually giving me 'circus'. Like everything connected with the big top you come off as creepy and diseased. I am just waiting for someone like Simon Cowell to stand up and admit to all of us that Lady Ga Ga was a hoax and we have all just been punked.

3. Politicians who look you in the face and say that they are looking out for the 'American People' while they take money from groups who's agenda is anything but helpful to ones achievement of the 'American Dream'. I feel so sorry for my American brothers and sisters who have to live under a system that works so hard at keeping them down while perpetrating a myth that they can rise above their station. It favors one small group at the top that it enriches beyond the 'dreams of Avarice'. It's no wonder that people just give up and buy into the haters that are more than willing to co-op that anger for their own ego or advancement. Predators wait around ever corner to exploit the fears of decent human beings. How individuals continue to fight that system daily says everything about their character and the unbreakable spirit of man.

Canada may not rule the world but we seem to be a lot smarter in the way we govern ourselves. Maybe all that time spent indoors during the winter not only gives us more tolerance for others and a better sense of humor but also a determination not to allow ourselves to be given the screwgie by those in 'power' if we can do something about it. Our memory is long and what we voted in one day we are happy to vote out the next.

I've had months of medical testing done lately. Cost to me - 0.00 dollars. Peace of mind - priceless. I wish the same for everyone.

4. The Cephalopod Menace - I watched with disappointment the way many of my readers were seduced by one stinking bulbhead running across the ocean bottom carrying a coconut. It was like the most amazing thing they had ever seen. And THAT is HOW THEY GETCHA! Like a good magician they show you a trick with one tentacle while they pick your pocket (or an organ) with the other seven. It seem like another long year of predicting the end of days from my street corner soap box and that is disheartening. I could seek out some fellow squid bashers out there but I might only bring danger and unwanted attention to them and their families. There are days I wish I didn't know what I know but I was chosen for this task because my hatred is pure and justified but not righteous! If I cross that line I would hope that someone would take me out of the picture. My worst fear is being seen as a holy man.

5. Tiny pets that wear costumes/clothing. It always makes the list because its just so stupid. I can't help myself for these feelings.

6. Being alone another 12 months. 'nuff said.

7. Over hyped and overblown motion pictures like 'Avatar' which left me feeling like you do after eating candy for dinner. It's a nice idea that in the end you regret it. Such beautiful to the eyes but did nothing for my brain and seemed like an opportunity lost. How can a movie like 'District 9' seem so fresh and 'Avatar' seem so stale? One word - STORY. You can spend all you want on effects but if you don't have something interesting to say I am not going to enjoy the experience. However, saying all this means nothing because the box office numbers are the only thing that matters so get ready for 'Transformers 3' and say goodbye to your soul.

8. Superbugs that are pretty much resistant to any antibiotic we have out there. Scientists discovered one pathogen that mutated 12 fold and became 'impossible to kill'. That is just great. Like the aliens from 'War of the Worlds' it will be the tiny germ that takes us all down. All this time I suspected the octopus would be responsible for our doom but I guess I was wrong. Thank you science, thank you medicine and thank you Sir Alexander Fleming. Where is your 'penicillin' now bitch?

9. More disappointment from Barack Obama - I am so getting the feeling that he is not the savior we all hoped for. He makes terrific speeches but can't close the deal. He is timid and afraid to use his power lest he make someone mad at him. Bush II might have been a nutcase but he at least 'acted' on his principles no matter how batshit insane they were. Obama is inert and his ONE term will haunt him for the rest of his days. He will only realize after he is gone that he squandered his opportunity to truly change the world.

I am just waiting for the back patting that will come when he signs the awful health care bill which only cements the power of the insurance lobby and big pharma and FORCES people to buy worthless insurance that will give them less protection than they had before. Every asshole politician will tell us that they did right by the American people but that isn't the truth. Banks will be more unregulated than ever and the US recession will continue to affect us here in Canada since our economies are so intertwined. Good luck having another minority President after that. The money men and their evil cabal will win because they always win. People like Hannity and Colter and Matlin will continue to rewrite history THAT WE ALL LIVED THROUGH and never be challenged. FUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! Why the hell is this allowed to continue????

I am less hopeful for this new year as I have ever been in my life. 2010 - the year everything went to crap. Thanks alot planet Earth. You are now NUMBER 2 on my list of favorite planets ever.

10. Batman's (Bruce Wayne's) return to comics. Since the end of 'Final Crisis' when Bruce supposedly died we have been waiting for his return. The last panel showed him in prehistoric times having been sent there by some voodoo after Darksied killed him with his Omega Beam. I do like the idea of him moving through time and adopting a different design of his Batman identity to fit the various time periods he is in but I could have waited a few more years to see that. How can I miss him if he won't go away. They just made Dick Grayson (the first Robin) step into the shoes of his mentor and it's nice to see. Bruce's son Damien is a damaged Robin and the dynamic between the two is really good. I want it to go on and not just stop as Bruce takes back his role and identity and Dick goes back to being Nightwing. We all know its going to happen eventually but let me at least enjoy the new status quo for awhile.

I'm A Crushin' And A 'Gushing'

Found another new blog today. My blog list is so eclectic. Gregory today did a post on crushes and he made alot of good points that justify my crushes. I liked the way he said that it doesn't make us old men all pervy to have crushes on young pretty actresses. Isn't that the point? - to be crushing on them? I am proud of the ones I crush on because I went with quality girls/women. Someone who say crushes on Paris Hilton, Lady Ga Ga, Madonna or Margaret Thatcher are just wasting their vote as it were. Now THAT is creepy and pervy. My list is as follows - who is on yours? Make number 7 your FIRST celebrity crush if you can remember it. At the end explain WHY you made that person your number one? Please don't say "because she is purty".

1. Selena Gomez

2. Milla Jovovich

3. Kat Dennings

4. Christine Hendricks

5. Amanda Bynes

6. Camilla Bell

7. Caroline Monroe (old school crush - first crush)

I took my reasons for lovin' on Selena Gomez from Samurai Frog because he summed up what I was thinking but expressed it better than I could.

"Between her hilarious acting on her TV show and her more layered turns in Disney Channel’s Princess Protection Program and Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie (rare Disney Channel movies that are both entertaining and on message about family, friendship and loyalty instead of just mentioning those things in passing), she’s proving herself to be the most talented actress of her generation. I hope she gets movie roles worthy of her talent, and not just manufactured crap for kids. She’s off to a very good start."

Calvinonomics 101

I have been having the weirdest dreams lately. Last night I came up with a eight point plan to save the economy of America and therefor the world since we are all tied in so closely to what happens in the US. I know everyone will argue with most or all of this because I know the flip side to everything I am saying here.

1. Cap CEO Salaries to 5 times the average employees salaries. Bonuses caped at 20% of yearly wage. This will have the effect of keeping most CEOs from implementing cost cutting measures that reduce staff, prevent investment and stall innovation (for example, shipping jobs overseas). Banks and Investment houses need hard caps on how much they must lend out to small businesses and individuals with interest rates no more than 5%. The amount loaned out by individual banks will depend of their yearly profits. At least 80% of all profits must be available to be loaned out to individuals and businesses who qualify. More people should benefit from the hard work of those who actually DO the work than shareholders. This keeps money in the system and allows for small business growth which is the engine of employment. Give generous tax deductions for companies that create employment. Tightly regulate the money supply.

Capitalism and competition are great...but UNREGULATED capitalism and competition is totally destructive. Just look at what all the deregulation under Bush II did to the economy of the WORLD this year! Enact broader anti-trust legislation and take apart monopolies. They always lead to higher costs for everyone because companies can charge whatever they want for their services and that needs to be corrected.

2. Allow workers to unionize to give the power to bargain collectively for a living wage and then some. Get back to manufacturing products instead of sending those jobs overseas. People who have money will 'buy American' over cheaper imports. Put a tariff on imports to protect certain high employment industries. Have the workers pay part of those wages for comprehensive health care coverage which will protect families and allow workers more years in the labor force. Their experience is vital. Have business match those contributions. Make both tax deductible. The trickle down effects of employed people spending will fuel a surge in small business growth, employment and the standard of living. More people working means less who live in poverty thus less welfare and other social programs. Fairly increase taxes to pay for infrastructure (schools, roads, bridges, common use areas, and health care)

3. Do campaign finance reform that eliminates the lobby monies available to candidates. Public financing levels the playing fields and takes special interests out of the equation entirely. This will allow politicians to do what they are elected to do - put in place laws and policies that benefit all the people and not just those who bribe them.

4. Include everyone under the banner of medicare and get insurance companies out of the profit motive when dealing with people's health. Entirely to much money is paid out to politicians to maintain the status quo. That money should be paid out in claims that now are being denied for the most evil of reasons. People will still need car, home, life, and disaster insurance. You will make up the difference when healthy people are able to work longer and can afford your products. Regulate the industry and watch them closely. Take away the incentive they have to cheat the system for their own benefit. Those savings alone will be massive.

5. Pay teachers, nurses, social workers, day care employees much much more to encourage children to enter those professions (not everyone can be an pro athlete or a rapper). Make schools incredible learning environments implementing the most up to date technologies. Reward good, innovative teachers. Increase apprenticeship programs creating scholarships not only for athletes but kids whose lives would benefit by learning a trade. Government should pay for that training and schooling as long as the person is in the program. All qualified applicants should have low cost access to higher learning. Increase money to hire trained individuals so no child falls through the cracks just because they are poor, or in foster care, ect...

6. Bring the military personal home. Stop being involved in foreign wars. It's not worth the blood and treasure involved. Train military personal to also be able to respond to emergencies like floods, fires, or hurricanes and have them ready to go at a moment's notice. This should be their primary function. That will do more good than any war ever could. The condition of New Orleans STILL is a disgrace and should be a priority to fix. The army is often best equipped to do these huge jobs. Pay soldiers more. Create a new GI Bill to reward military service. Care as much about those who put themselves in harm's way as much as they care about their country. Treat terrorism as a 'police problem' and not a 'military' problem.

7. Legalize marijuana. It's less dangerous than alcohol and the profit potential speaks for itself. Take that revenue source out of the hands of crime syndicates. People takes drugs for a variety of reasons. The whole society is over medicated. Marijuana has tremendous health benefits. With such a safe alternative to harder drugs the quality of love and JOY in people's lives will improve. Treat those who do things like driving while stoned the same way you treat those who drive while drunk. Increase rehab options and allow health insurance to cover the cost.

8. Get over your addiction to oil. Most of the financing for terrorist activities comes from closed, dictatorial oil producing societies who do little to filter those profits down to their people which leads to frustration and anger in those societies. The creation and promotion of terrorism is a smoke screen to keep the citizens of the middle east mad at others rather than being mad at their governments who actively keep them down. Promote, research and fund alternative energy methods like wind power, solar power, geothermal power, nuclear power, ect...

That's What You Get For Going In The Ocean

What kind of loving God creates a deadly see-through killer like this? This kind of stuff makes me crazy. 7/10ths of the Earth is water and this poor bastard can't tip his toe in it without getting messed up which itself is messed up.

"Ben Southall, the British winner of the Best Job in the World competition, has discovered that life in paradise can sometimes turn ugly, and rather painful. Just days away from the end of his six-month stint as "caretaker" of Hamilton Island in Queensland, Mr Southall was stung by a deadly Irukandji jellyfish. The tiny, translucent jellyfish are extremely venomous and stings often result in hospitalization. Southall was getting off a Jet Ski in the ocean when he felt "a small bee-like sting" on his arm. When he later noticed a tingling in his hands and feet, island staff took Southall immediately to the doctor. Progressive symptoms of fever, headache, lower back pain, chest tightness and high blood pressure led the doctor to diagnose that Southall had been stung by an Irukandji jellyfish. He was given pain medication and slept off the venom's effects overnight."

Love Me My Talk Radio

Alan Colmes - "I just want to shoot myself in the head listening to callers like this guy."

Producer Joel - "Don't do that, we have another hour to go in the show."

Alan Colmes - "Not in some markets."

A caller tonight made the point that I have thought about for awhile. The guy who shoot all those soldiers at Fort Hood and the 'underwear bomber' were both sexually frustrated Muslims who were looking for girls. They say they want the 'perfect' Muslim woman but in truth they want what all men want - a girl who puts out (a Madonna in the kitchen but a whore in the bedroom). Then they get together with their other buddies that aren't getting any and work each other up by blaming the wrong people for their 'issues'. I know if I prayed five times a day and my god didn't send me a piece of sweet then I would be a crazy bomber too. So maybe instead of sending troops we should be sending prostitutes to the Middle East.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

True 'Dat

When It Hits You, You Know

Someone wrote about their worst childhood memory today and I couldn't come up with a single thing besides the farm dog ripping my face off or the heat stroke but they didn't seem unusual enough and then it hit me. There was a recurring nightmare that went on until well into my 20s.

There was a kid's show on Canadian TV called 'Romper Room'. They had it in the US I am sure and the Canadian version had Miss Fran I think for most of its run. I hated it. Sure they played games and learned not to eat yellow snow or sled in traffic. Sure DOOBIE, the birth control BEE would show up to teach us silent lessons while he clapped his hands in that large bee costume - WITHOUT a stinger mind you - so technically he was a dead bee - a zombie bee (and you can't tell me that that bee wasn't high everyday - he smoka da ganga, Bogarted the joint and passed the 'dutchie' on the RIGHT hand side) if you will. No, the worst part was at the end of every show. When she would hold up a hand mirror without glass and say these magic words.

"Romper stomper bomper boo...tell me tell me tell me do...magic mirror, please tell me today...did all my friends have fun at play?" and then she would rattle off a bunch of names - "Sally, Billie, Dristan, Codiene, Shakira, Shaquanda, Shaboola, and little Damian, I see you too." - but the bitch never, ever, ever, once said CALVIN. And I was right there, looking right at the TV. She could see me. Some days I even waved. Bitch ignored me. One day at Cadet Camp we were watching it in the morning and I waited and went on such a rant when it was over because even all grown up, she still froze me out.

Soft Kitty

In every decade or so you get ONE character on a television show or a movie that is truly inspired genius. Writers struggle their whole lives to give voice to such a character but you will NEVER find it until the universe pairs up a specific unforgettable actor who just GETS who the person he is playing is right from the beginning. Then the writing is easy. Examples - William Shatner as Captain Kirk, Peter Falk as Columbo, Harrison Ford as Han Solo and Indiana Jones, Michael Richards as Kramer and Jim Parsons as Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. If you can't sing all the words to 'soft kitty' then you sir, are dead to me. Sheldon is so singularly unique a character that we will not see his like in many many years. It's a rare treat. Please add your choices for iconic characters in the comment section so I can use them in an upcoming post.

If He's Not Bending The Rules He Is Breaking Them

I assumed he pulled this stunt to remind me of who REALLY was in charge around the house and that he KNEW people who could make my life 'uncomfortable' as it were. Its been very cold outside so he's got to stay inside which he doesn't like one bit. After all, he has his 'route' to cover around the neighborhood. He's a sweet cat but when he feels slighted he really holds a grudge. I can't help it if he has no concept whatsoever of what the word SEASONS means. I thought bringing DEATH over to the house was a bit harsh though. Threatening a fat guy who puts bacon even in his cereal with the Grim Reaper is not funny at all. In the end we reached a compromise and I took the picture so he could have it to post on my computer screen whenever I get all 'controlling' and 'up in his grill'. My kitty is so street.

Sasha Grey In Miss Pac-Man - The Movie

First truly great idea I have heard in a long long time. She is making her play to go legit. We need to do whatever we can to see this sweet kid get her 'shot' at being regular movie actress. I was gonna say 'shot at being a star' but she is already a star. AND a great actress. You can't fake the stuff she normally does. I appreciate someone who gives 110% no matter what they do. From stripper to funeral director you can tell the people that were just BORN to do their chosen profession and never short change you when you interact with them.

Yeh - I Reposted Bitches - But Only For YOU!

Basic Movie Summary: During the presidential election of 1988, a teenager named Donnie Darko sleepwalks out of his house one night, and sees a giant, demonic-looking rabbit named Frank, who tells him the world will end in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds. He returns home the next morning to find that a jet engine has crashed through his bedroom. As he tries to figure out why he survived and tries to deal with people in his town, like the school bully, his conservative health teacher, and a self-help guru, Frank continues to turn up in Donnie's mind, causing him to commit acts of vandalism and worse

Of all the movies that I have ever seen the one that gives me most pause to think is Donnie Darko. Its hits on so many of the themes that I have an interest in. I had heard the movie had a cult following but it wasn't until many years after the movie came out that I saw it on TV. It affected me so much that I watched the repeat airing right away that night. I have read much on the Internet about the meaning of the film because its the kind of movie that demands multiple viewing and elicits multiple interpretations of the themes it presents.

From all that I have studied my belief is that it comes down to the nature of time travel and belief in God. If you believe in God then you believe that 'He' knows/creates your fate and the direction your life will take. For that reason time travel is IMPOSSIBLE because you cannot do anything to change or affect your life. Basically it's predestination and you are basically stuck on that hill hurtling forward towards your inevitable doom. Sucks doesn't it?

Of course this negates Kang's Third Law of Time Travel - conservation of causality - which postulates that time travel doesn't CHANGE your timeline it just creates an ALTERNATE time line - so killing your grandfather or Hitler changes nothing in the original timeline - it just creates a new timeline where your grandfather or Hitler are dead. Nothing in your original timeline is altered. You could fix a million things bad or wrong in your life with time travel but it will NEVER change anything in the reality you are stuck in. You would not know what differences your changes caused unless, like on 'Sliders', you could jump from one parallel universe to the next. That is an entirely different topic.

Now for some reason Donnie avoids his death by not being in his room when an airplane engine falls through the roof of his house. This creates the alternate timeline that will reset itself 28 days later and brings us to my other point.

If there is NO God then your fate is not known or 'written' and you can use time travel to change your destiny - to alter or correct one mistake or, in Donnie's case, sacrifice his life for the life of the girl that he loves which gives some meaning to the suicidal thoughts and actions that haunt him. The movie ends with his laughter because he realizes that he DOES have control of his destiny in the most profound of ways. His death can have meaning for himself and the world. Wow...there is a philosophy I can get behind.

And does anything creep you out more than Frank...the demonic bunny? YIKES! When the voices start talking to me I hope they sound more like Whoopie Goldberg or Dave Chapelle. That ghetto street speak is so much more comforting than Frank's hollow echo. There are so many aspects to this movie that are unpredictable and eerie and its impossible to guess where the movie is going which makes it all the more rich with repeat viewings. The mysteries of the film call out to be solved and it took me many years to give myself a satisfying explanation. You can see how I would be drawn to something like that.

Gretchen - "Donnie Darko...what kind of name is that? It sounds like some kind of superhero or something."

Donnie - "What makes you think I am not?"

Sing It Out Loud And Proud My Furry Canadian Brother

Batgirl/Supergirl: World’s Finest by Chris Butler

Brother Fnord asked in my comments if this picture was from a cartoon show. I got me to thinking. It should be a cartoon. Wow, what a great idea for a cartoon...all girl empowered and stuff with two hot cartoon chicks. You could make it like 'Kim Possible' with them saving the world while having to deal with the judgements from Batman and Superman all the time. Not just living up to the legacy of their mentors but doing it with their own 'grrl style'. Hey that's good. You think if Bruce Timm reads my blog he will invite me to write for that project??? The only way it would work is to let him do the same voodoo on this show (called 'World's Finest') that he did on the animated adventures of the Justice League or the great and greatly missed 'Superman And The Legion of Superheroes' Little girls and us geek men would love it.

Greatest Room Divider EVER!

Its not that it's made of albums but it's because of what SPECIFIC albums are there. I sees me some Dean Martin and especially Harry Belafonte. I would listen to that Calypso record of his in my youth for hours. When it played I WAS from the Caribbean baby. And we would sing...

"Come Mr Tallyman, tally me banana...daylight come and me want throw up"

- k those weren't totally the real words but they always sounded funny to me. Loved singing that song back when I did drink and sing a lot. Some jukebox somewhere always had a great old tune like that shook everyone up a bit and got them to forget who they were and where they were at for a moment.

- or we would break into one of the old negro spirituals..."I meant a song, a REAL song"...

- Me and my roommate in University would smoka a bit of the ganja and make up our own songs. We imagined our reggae hits album to have us on the cover wearing those beaded hat they all wear and some of our songs were titled...

'I Feel It In My Pocket'
'I Left It At My Bitches'

and the classic - 'Yes It's Me Mon'.

- Then one of us would have to ask the other - "Hey Mon, are we planning to sit around here all evening?" And the other would reply - "No Mon, we not planning it, we just doing it."

Well That Is More Than God Ever Did For Me

Maxime Pecourt’s Bat Umbrella

WOW...only a concept peice but I would carry it around with me even if I did get wet.

Fag Stag? Who Me?

All the best women hang out with gay men. How anyone can be offended about two guy holding hands was something I never understood. More girls for me to strike out with. Gay men are also the BEST wing men you can ever have - they LOVE women. (said it before - ladies, get your hair cut by a gay men because women hate women and will never give you a good style) and they want their non-gay friends like me to get lucky. Why should they be having all the sex? Gay men are also funny as hell and the 'cattiest' bitches on the planet. I had a buddy who would sit with us at the University bar we attended and his comments about all the people walking by would have me spitting out my drink every time. To watch a table of these guys riff back and forth on each others clothing, hair, or general personalities is better than any sitcom out there. So my whole point is stop being a hater if you are 'anti-gay'. I promise that the first time you see that the humanity of a gay person is just the same as yours, you will never be bigoted against them any more. You have nothing to be afraid of by such thing like gay marriage. Why should only straits be miserable in their unions?

Just Give Up The Cash Bitch.

Doom don't want to mess with Luke Cage when he is collecting a payment. You would think Doom would have kept up with his bills since he micromanages everything but there you have it.


"Don't worry about me. I can feed myself."

I Want It NOW!

Okay, I am just going to put this out there and hope that someone in the ether picks it up and gives me what I want. There is no better comedy duo out there than Ricky Gervais and Elmo from Sesame Street. They just got that kind of chemistry you don't see everyday. They should be given the green light to do a whole series of specials for kids that would also entertain adults in a massive way. I have posted this first video before. I think together both of them make my case.

This Is What I Love About Ice

You can still have a cute, sexy comic book heroine without having her wear a skimpy outfit that is TOTALLY impractical and unrelated to her powers. She creates ICE (hence the name) and I know if some creators had their way they would have her wear the same metal bikini that Red Sonya does.

Part Of Last Night's Dream

Me - "What do you call that thing?"

Companion - "A Tryptopus"

Me - "Why is it looking at me like that?"

Companion - "It can read your mind."

Me - "So it knows I am scared shitless?"

Companion - "Oh yea, sure it does."