More Cool Pimpernel Art

You can find the complete collection of Pimpernel's wicked cool superhero pin-ups HERE. I really like the style and look of these. Uniquely original. Here are some of my favorites.

That's What You Get!

Oh look, the octopus is magical. The octopus can predict the future. All hail the psychic octopus. He will never steer us wrong. HA! Just when you Germans believed in this bastard's gift of prophecy he LET YOU DOWN. Color me surprised. That is what they do. That is ALL they do. They build you up only to see your hopes crash to the ground. If they could laugh they would be laughing at you right now - with a German accent.

http://thedailywh.at/

WHY?

http://zanypickle.com/

He Just Crossed The Line

I Never Have Made Anyone 'Lizard Happy'

http://seltzerlizard.tumblr.com/

Cats By Cal

Dinocroc vs Supergator

It has been weeks since I have seen one of these craptastic creature features and I think that is why I have been so restless lately. Unless science is going wild and making shockingly bad decisions in the area of genetic research I am just not comfortable to be sequestered in my cave. I actually peek out and when something TEN TIMES the size it should be IS NOT coming after me, I start to rethink this whole 'cave life' policy and that is not healthy for me.

This time out it seems that once again some isolated lab (Sector 13) without proper safeguards has let loose something huge and dangerous on the world. In the real world, such a creature would hide from us but not in this movie. In this movie our creatures escape with the worst attitudes and seek out the harmless bikini girls and their photographers as their first meal.

And can someone tell me WHY the scientists who were working in this secret lab always run outside to get away from the big dinocroc that is also looking for fresh air. They always get stomped or chomped. Personally, I am running for the nearest broom closet and lets see if that stupid lizard can work a doorknob. I am the slow and weak of any herd. I am not engaging dinojaws in a foot race.

Don't worry pretty female scientist in lab coat. He won't get you. Unless you strip first, of course.

OMG..DAVID CARRADINE? How great a casting choice is that. He can kung fu that croc in his pool. YAAAA! We all are saved! Opps. Bad call. Seems David is the bad guy who was bankrolling all these abominations.

Now can someone tell me WHY we need to make big dinocrocs or huge supergators? Why not giant poodles? I swear, these huge creatures are nothing but trouble. This is like those people that want to use dinosaur dna to breed little house cat size lizards to be used as pets. Sure, pets until their huge lizard brains figure out how tasty we are and then its our asses.

Now lets see if we got all our players straight. Pretty scientist blond with accent - check. Hunky soldier type who doesn't respond well to authority - check. Clueless authority figure who makes ALL the wrong decisions when the script needs him to - check. Other blond cop who patrols the lakes in her speedboat called the WILD ANGEL - check. Sheriff father who is gonna die pretty damn quick - check. Expendable army guys - check. Mercenary hunter killer called 'THE CAJUN' - check. Girl for Cajun to playfully banter with - check. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

I do like, however, all the dumb people who are getting chomped by these super lizards. The chomp to personnel quota is deliciously high. When the machine guns don't slow the thing down, maybe it's time to find another solution to your lizard problem....or get chomped. And don't think you can escape in your jeep either. Seems the dinosaur can run just as fast as you can drive.

Lesson One to all bikini clad girls running from super lizards - flip flops are not good footwear to escape in.

Lesson Two - You will not win a tug of war with a giant crocodile who has half of your bikini clad friend in it's mouth.

Two story tall mushrooms? Good on ya David Carradine. That is some crazy ass old school biological villainy.

Now they wouldn't bring out the large breasted actresses just to have them get chomped in the resort's hot tub would they? That is going to affect tourist bookings I just know it.

You know, their plan just might work in killing both these crazy critters. Sorry to leave you all in suspense but I don't want to ruin the ending for you.



This scene may or may not appear in the movie.

Grimm Brothers Beer

The most fun I had helping a buddy make his own wine was designing the labels for the bottles. These are great labels from Grim Brothers Breweries.

http://superpunch.blogspot.com/

All I See Is Him Taking A Beating

This is the reason why comic books are great and real life sucks. You just can't dress up like a superhero and take to the streets. 'Kick-Ass' and SNL should have taught us all a little something about the downside to doing this. Oh well, let the boy have his dream and a beautiful dream it is. I will be there to say 'there, there' and pat his head gently after his first bullet wound.



http://io9.com/5581307/real+life-superhero-the-viper-defends-tennessee-town-told-to-take-a-hike-by-cops

The Man Who Would Be King Of The Popes

Of all the skits they did on SCTV this was my favorite. The three of them are just so over the top. I committed this one to memory and would do it on command for my friends. The trick is to be mellow doing the first part and just go full retard with the Richard Harris part. This one is a keeper. I can just imagine them sitting around writing this sketch and not being able to keep from laughing while performing it.

Drake Speaks The Truth. This Is Exactly What She Was Saying

Operation: Endgame Trailer (nsfw)

"The first official Red Band (read: NSFW) trailer for Fouad Mikati’s action-comedy spy flick Operation: Endgame (formerly known as Rouge’s Gallery).

The film, which stars Rob Corddry, Ellen Barkin, Odette Yustman, Maggie Q, Zach Galifianakis, Adam Scott, Bob Odenkirk, Ving Rhames, and Jeffrey Tambor, will be released July 27 on DVD and Blu-ray."

I laughed at the trailer and the cast looks interesting. Can't believe this one is going straight to video. I have watched many Vig Rhames movies that suffered a similar fate this year. Is there a curse on him?

I Have Enough On Earth To Worry Me And Now I Hear About This

"ESA's Herschel infrared space telescope has made an unexpected discovery: a dark hole in space. The hole has provided astronomers with a surprising glimpse into the end of the star-forming process.

A cloud of bright reflective gas known to astronomers as NGC 1999 sits next to a black patch of sky. For most of the 20th century, such black patches have been known to be dense clouds of dust and gas that block light from passing through."

CCCP1: Uposcrabblenyk/What Fits Into Russia

One of the best skits ever done on the old SCTV program. Their spoofing of Russian television was brilliant. Thanks to Dr Goat for reminding me of this classic.

Quote Of The Day

“Those who shun the whimsy of things will experience rigor mortis before death.” —Tom Robbins

http://gilmoure.tumblr.com/

Worker And Parasite

From the time when Krusty lost 'Itchy and Scratchy' to the 'Gabbo Show' and had to scrape the bottom of barrel for Eastern Europe's most popular cat and mouse cartoon.

When I lived in Europe they would show these ten second cartoons staring a monkey and a horse between commercials and it was seriously as messed up as the mockery of a cartoon that 'Worker and Parasite' was meant to be.



OMG - IT'S THEM!!! Thanks to dsn79 for finding this. I didn't imagine it in some fevered dream. These two actually existed. Too funny.

Cats By Cal

Dear Sweet Christina

Big Brother UK Update

OMG - Just when I get used to cry baby with anger management issues Shabby (I even had a dream about her a few nights ago - she kinda looks like Milla) she walks out of the Big Brother House. She couldn't take all the drama. In fairness, it WAS drama that she herself had created so that is kinda ironic and I do love me some irony. Once Kiva fell out with Shabby calling herself a 'lesbian sidekick this past month' is was all over for Shabby. She lost her last ally and needed to walk away.

Now all I have to say about this whole divided house tragedy is this - "HAVE ANY OF YOU NUMNUTS EVER SEEN THE PROGRAM BEFORE???" Who do these people think they are. The producers have had a decade to learn how to drive captured prisoners mad. What made this group think they would be any different. Sure its all sunshine and roses for the first six weeks or so - then they turn on each other like pirhanas in a kiddie pool. All Big Brother needed to do was give a party to only HALF the group and it caused all kinds of shit. Hurt feelings from being excluded or hurt feelings from having their mattress touched. Get a grip. This is BIG BROTHER. You have no friends and you have no hope. All of you are going to be upset and kicked out until one battered slug is left to pick up their tiny sack of dignity and walk off into the sunset.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Marvelman

"Marvelman was a UK publisher's replacement for Captain Marvel who experienced some trailblazing deconstruction from Alan Moore and Alan Davis in the 80s- - work that's held right up there with WATCHMEN and DARK KNIGHT RETURNS. Complicated legal dispute have kept the character in limbo for many, many years, though. Ironically, legal action by Marvel actually forced a prior right’s holder, Eclipse, to rename the character Miracleman at one point (a name I personally prefer - - it’s got a nicer ring to it.) The Moore/Davis issues (as well as those by Neil Gaiman and Mark Buckingham) have been out of print because of this and, thus, are only available to those willing to pay the obsoridnate prices for marked-up back issues."

Finally after many years, the 'Marvelman' comics are about to be released by Marvel who owns the rights. Now this may be blasphemy to say, but does anyone else feel, like I do, that Marvelman was very overrated as a comic book?

I know there are people who think that Alan Moore is God when it comes to writing comics but I am not one of them. Much of his contribution to the medium are truly ground breaking but he is hardly an original thinker. 'Watchmen' was a re-imagining of characters that Charlton sold to DC. 'Marvelman' is just the dark side of the Captain Marvel family which itself was the sunniest series there has ever been about superheroes.

I have a feeling that once people get into these newly released stories that they will be asking what the big deal was after all these years. I know I stopped reading them about seven issues in and that was a tough slog to even get to that point. Tell me what you think.

I Judge You To Be Delicious

http://cuteoverload.com/

FINALLY!!!

Oh that poor Lindsay. Finally she got ninety days in the jug for all her bad behavior. How many chances did she think she would get above the 100 or so she had already gotten from the law? So now she will be someone's bitch if they don't put her in protective custody and allow her smokes and cheeseburgers. She needed Charlie Sheen's lawyer. He isn't ever going to serve time because they couldn't come to an 'agreement' on his punishment for trying to kill his wife. Fuck Hollywood. Gotta love it. Lindsay will be the only one to come out of prison looking better than when she went in. What I am saying is girl is looking ROUGH these days. Never good for someone in their EARLY TWENTIES! GAH!


And in other asshat celebrity news - it appears that Kate Moss drives around in this London Cab. How better to spit on the little people than by driving by them and making them think you are the cab in service that will save them from having to stand out on the curb in the rain. You can slow as you approach them then roar away laughing while reminding them why you are so much better than they are. Fuck You Kate Moss.

What Is NEXT?

OMG America. How much have your asshats pissed off the gods? First the oil spill and now I hear that California has BUBONIC PLAGUE. The BLACK DEATH? Are you FREAKIN' KIDDING ME? Sure it is suppose to be one little squirrel but those rodents get around. It's time to just burn it, then bomb it, then pave it. If I seem indifferent to your plight please know that I am not. I am just stunned.

Damn Velociraptors

I never realized that the cuddly velociraptor looked more like a big scary bloodthirsty chicken than a lizard. This just makes them just bigger assholes than they already were. Bad enough that they can turn doorknobs to hunt you with their buddies INDOORS but now they are even more pissed off because despite the fact that they had feathers they still could not fly.

This Is My Idea Of Hell On Earth

This is a pool in China where temperatures have reached in excess of 35 degrees Celsius. People have to use inner tubes to protect their personal space. I swear if I was in the middle of that I would last all of 20 seconds before I started to freak out. This is why I live in a cave that is cool (and by cool I mean the temperature). GAH!.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1292411/Record-temperatures-China-drive-hundreds-water.html

Pimpernel's Wonder Woman

I really like these. They are terrific photoshop creations of Wonder Woman photo covers from her Golden Age glory days.

"Anyway for those who are interested we have from top to bottom: Wonder Woman, Steve Trevor, Etta Candy, Ares, Baroness Paula Von Gunther, the Cheetah, Giganta, the Snowman, Hypnota the Great, Dr Psycho, Fury, Nubia, Keith Griggs, the Swan, and Queen Clea."

http://pimpernelsblog.blogspot.com/

Milla As Milady

This is the first picture released of Milla Jovovich as Milady De Winter in the remake of the Three Muskateers, one of my favorite often filmed tales. Her husband Paul W. Anderson is the director and she got one of the evil roles in the film. I am realy interested to see what she does with it.

http://hollywood-spy.blogspot.com/