Saturday, September 22, 2018

Let Me Explain Why This Comic Will Become Legend

It is hard to be a comic book company these days. You have to keep putting out creative products involving a large group of beloved characters. Everyone who reads comics thinks that they know better and could do a better job than the people currently blessed to have these careers. I know I could do some kickass stuff but that is because I have read so many comic books in my life that I am an EXPERT on all things comic book related. I have seen every stunt that has come down the pipe since I was six from both Marvel and DC but THIS special issue is one for the record books.

If you have been living under a rock this week you know that this issue of Damned #1 has a shot featuring the penis of the Batman. Yes, they went THERE. The results of course have been explosive online. Everyone on social media is talking about it which is EXACTLY what DC wanted to have happen. Free advertising up and down the line. How could they know that Trump's penis would dominate the same headlines this week that DC was hoping to dominate. Worse still a cartoon character is so much more impressive than president mushroom head.

In subsequent re-issues of this sold out book, the penis will be blurred out so if you don't have it now, you will pay for the privilege of owning it. So immediately the comics with the raw shot will have value to collectors. Online the sales will be full of scams and copies that have no doubt been already graded to find that rate 10 which will go for crazy prices when the whole ball gets going. I have seen it many times before. Lately it's been variant covers that drive people online but this one will get all the attention from anyone looking to make a buck. Check the book for the dick so you don't buy one of the less valuable second and third printings. Now there is a line I thought I would never write while talking about comic books.

DC wins here. Comic books are expensive these days. I read all of mine online because I refuse to pay such prices for stories that are not already time tested. That is a shame. Back in the days when I first collected a comic book was 60 cents and I got 20 dollars every two weeks JUST to by comics from my parents. I could read EVERYTHING and take a chance on new stories and characters. I did that for YEARS. Unless you are a European Prince you just can't do that these days. That is one of the many reasons why kids just don't read comic books anymore. They have free things on the Internet that for them are much more entertaining. They are wrong of course but what do stupid kids know?

DC has created what they say is an edgy new imprint to tell ADULT stories (thus the adult depiction of raw human anatomy) for the adult collectors but they knew that this 'stunt' would reach far beyond that narrow demographic. Everyone is talking about it on any show that deals with popular culture, even tangentially. Everyone knows Batman and half the people on the planet have a penis.

Luckily the story that accompanies the penis is actually very compelling and a mystery worthy of the Dark Knight. Azzarello (100 Bullets) is a very good writer. At least DC saw the importance of a good tale and didn't just focus on the shock smut factor to sell the book. Trust me, Marvel wishes they had thought of this first because you will never forget that you saw Batman's penis because you were curious. No shame in that, FREAK!


1 comment:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Pshaw, I say, pshaw. The mainstream is waaaaaaaay behind, as usual. You want to see superhero dick? Check out any shipping blog on Tumblr. This is old hat, Cal, old hat.