Thursday, September 25, 2008

Death to Caruso and Long Live GOOGAM...SON OF GOOM!!!!

I have decided today to stop all my worrying about the end of the world (which I can almost taste on the cool fall winds) and talk a bit about the new television season. One of the many things I hate most about my forced solitude is having no one to really shmoooze with about television which you all know I concider to be man's greatest invention (well next to flush toilets and clumping cat litter) I mean look at all the shows, all the stupid and bizarre ways that we have found to entertain ourselves; the bread and circuses of modern life. (500 channels??? Baby I vote for more!!!) Already I realize that I must watch Dancing with the Stars all by myself (pennace for some act against the Gods) and have spoken about that show already. This week has been particulary memorable for all the death and near death that have occured to characters I have grown accustomed to see. Monday saw the fake out death of David Curuso on CSI Miami. Lets all be honest here...if any one death of any one character in the history of TV needed to go to nearly unannamous agreement it would have to be him. He is the worst actor in the history of the medium and makes Mr T and George Pepard of the A-Team look like Shakespeare. And the way they faked his death and endlessly pitched the season premier is an insult to me and all other mouthbreathing shut ins. So for that reason I refuse to let that show take up one more minute of my life. Sorry Emmily got on the ship now I have to let you go down with it baby...not that I won't shed a tear for you but I won't be throwing you a life preserver either cause you just know Caruso will find someway to latch onto it and if the fact that his ginger skin tone hasn't melted his face off in that harsh caribbean sun then I have little faith that anything can kill off that guy. Tonight I had the choice to watch the two hour premier of Grays Anatomy or Survivor Gabon. You would think that after the hour death match that was the end of Dr Pratt on ER that I would have an easy choice to make. Just to show you how much I loath the direction the whiners of Greys have taken that show I chose Survivor because watching the worst traits of humanity come out in all its gut soothing glory actually made me feel like I was doing something to enrich my soul. Rock Bottom you say...HA....its only week one. Scripted human drama as opposed to mostly scripted human drama and as you know I DO love watching the gay survivor or the gay big brother when he starts to cry. Got nothing against the choice a guy makes but their is NO crying in baseball for a reason and NO crying in the jungle for the same reason. Suck it up buttercup and I don't mean that literally. But you know something, if Fringe(which better not go all "Lost" on me), The Sarah Conner Chronicles (with my most fav badass/rock siren Shirley Manson of Garbage as the sexy liquidy T-1000-eeeeeeeeeeeeee) and Knight Rider (Val Kilmer as KITT...mmmmmm boy!) keep up the energy of their early episodes I actually have hope for this year. Mythbusters, Intervention, The Cleaner, Dog the Bounty Hunter, The Daily Show, The Soup, NCIS, Saturday morning superhero cartoons and my Law and Orders can't do all the heavy lifting.

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