This Is One Step From SKYNET You Maniacs

Get yourself a puppy. I will not try to kill you in your sleep. Look at the way it can bend down to get at the places where you might need to hide from it. It also can dance on your face until it's batteries run down. Fuck doing the dishes. How do I shut this thing down? Where is my kill command code? I say a button on my car keys that makes the damn thing self destruct. Or I could always toss out some banana peels.