Sunday, April 25, 2021

So Fake

First of all, any holy weapon would have a blade made out of silver and not carton steel. It would also come with a little vile of holy water to sprinkle on the blade lest it be needed to fight either werewolves or vampires. Everyone knows that. This garbage will only get you killed right away and provides no help in battles with the unholy.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Is it an "inspirational knife" because Jesus carried one of those?

Rob R said...

With this and THE HOLY HAND GRENADE OF ANTIOCH, I would be unstoppable! Let us consult Brother Maynard and the Book of Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one, consecrated by Saint Atilla:

"And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'

What would the Book of Armaments read on this INSPIRATIONAL POCKET KNIFE?

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

It was in the back of the book...somewhere in the index...and OF COURSE Jeebus carried this night. How else did he fight those Roman Vampires.