Friday, February 28, 2014

Are You Freakin' Kidding Me?

A great beard is a thing of beauty. But some people, especially patchy-bearded hipsters in New York, are taking this "trend" to the next level — by getting beard transplants.

I think growing a beard is something everyone needs to do once in his life. And I don't mean a playoff hockey beard. I am talking about something you have grown and maintains over at least 8 seasons. You don't have to go full scruffy and you can trim for effect but you need something better than this 'stubble'.

You all know I loves me some George Clooney but I think this beard is a cop-out and any TRUE beard enthusiast would call it a 'starter beard."

More and more New Yorkers are willing to pay a pretty penny for a big, beautiful beard, according to local plastic surgeons. Follicly-challenged hipsters from Williamsburg to Park Slope are dropping thousands of dollars on plastic surgery to boost their beard game and blend in with their neighbors. These facial hair transplants can cost from $3,000 for a fill-in of sections to $7,000 for a full beard. Apparently, many of them ask to look like George Clooney:
This sucks for me. I can't complete with medical enhancements. I can only grow what I have developed all my life. Good things I make the bald head and the scruffy beard look GOOD.
Please no Calvin vs Clooney comparisons.
I realize he is a GOD and I a slug in his garden, in Tuscany.


Timothy S. Brannan said...

Yours is an epic beard. One for the ages to be sure.

I am pretty happy with my standard issue Generation X gotee.

Erik Johnson Illustrator said...

I just heard about this on the news this morning. What?!

Someone called me a "hipster" yesterday because of my facial hair. I so wanted to hit that guy.

Kal said...

Damn skippy I have a nice beard. I get WOO WOO ed all the time in the Cosco.