Tuesday, February 25, 2014

More Meme About Me - Part The Two

32. How big is your house?

Not as big as stately Wayne Manor but the basement is just about as cool as the Bat Cave itself.
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I love my home made fruit smoothies. Get's the engine going for the day and one of the best things I did to lose weight. I was never much of a breakfast guy but I need my smoothie like some need coffee to get going in the morning.
34. Have you ever fired a gun?

My father was a soldier and I was an Air Cadet. What do you think? I however, would never have a gun in my home. There are lots of other ways to kill an intruder that are more interesting than shooting at them in the dark when I am sleepy. Plus if a kid ever got a hold of my gun and did damage to himself or someone else I wouldn't be able to live with that. No guns in Gotham unless they are toy ray guns like this one from MARS ATTACKS. I have TWO of these.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes, and even from a moving horse. Of course I hit another moving horse which was sorta the point of the exercise in my view.

36. Favorite clean word?

Poodle. It's a fun word to say. POODLE.
37. Favorite swear word?

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?

5 days. But I was under duress on another planet. But I have said too much already.
39. Do you have any scars?

Scars? Scars that only my enemies should know. I have built hard callouses over my heart.
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

If I did they never told me, stupid bitch, because she could have had me for the price of a frosted cupcake.
41. Are you a good liar?

Yes, believe me, I am.
42. Are you a good judge of character?

Generally yes
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Just Hillbilly Cracker but I do it very well.
44. Do you have a strong accent?

Canadians have no accents. Even you Hillbillies with your Honey Boo Boo vocabulary know that.
45. What is your favorite accent?

I like that guttural growl of the South African. I find it both evil and soothing and prefer it in my medical professionals who for some reason are always from South Africa.
46. What is your personality type?

Borderline. I could snap at any moment.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I would love a great leather jacket like the one I had when I was teaching. It was lost in a car theft.
48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes, of course I can. I am not a primate.
49. Are you an innie or an outie?

I won't answer that question in polite company.
50. Left or right handed?

Right but I notice that most creative or exceptional people are left-handed.
51. Are you scared of spiders?

I am more afraid of mice. Spiders crackle on the hot coals - the bigger they are the more they crackle. I would eat cooked tarantula.

52. Favorite food?

Garlic stuffed olives - food of the gods
53. Favorite foreign food?

I do enjoy a good feed of perogies.
54. Are you a clean or messy person?

A little of both. All my stuff is neat but there is a lot of it.
55. Most used phrased?

'Too Funny' or 'Classic'
56. Most used word?

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

A good hour so that the shower 'takes' and you are dry enough to get dressed. It's a whole production with me. I have to set an alarm to know when to shower before work so that I don't feel rushed. I hate feeling rushed.
58. Do you have much of an ego?

What's the point? It can always be crushed so easily. But with some things that I know I do well (like teaching) I can never be convinced that I am not the greatest.
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Bite - especially Tootsie Pops.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, but I only act out scenes from movies when I do that.
61. Do you sing to yourself?

Of course, it's my gift to the world.
62. Are you a good singer?

My father taught me to harmonize to all those old school country songs. I can sing anything. Like an angel I sing.
63. Biggest Fear?

Disappointing someone who cares about me. But having someone care about me is a close second.
64. Are you a gossip?

If we are together, having a few Vodka Martinis, some stories about someone we both know, might slip out.
65. Best dramatic movie you've seen?

Legends of the Fall
66. Do you like long or short hair?

On me or others? Your question is vague. But on a pretty girl there is nothing like long hair with curls. Though short hair can be very sexy too.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Yes. Can you name any two Canadian provinces?
68. Favorite school subject?

History and drama
69. Extrovert or Introvert?

"Meeting of the Introverts club in the closet of room 444. New members please stay home."
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Another of my many skills learned as an Air Cadet and as an agent for some unnamed Northern North American nation.
71. What makes you nervous?

Change, new experiences, dealing with other humans, THE MAN and the Octopus Invaders.
72. Are you scared of the dark?

I hate to brag but the DARK is afraid of me. One look into my icy cold blackness and the Dark would crack into crystals of light. (Now that is just GOOD writing).
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Only if they are stupid, ignorant or intolerant mistakes. Plus if they screw up my toast. How can you possible make BAD toast. It's impossible. The very machine that makes the toast has a dial to regulate the amount of cooking time required to make passable toast. You never crank it all the way to the top even with thick rye bread you maniacs.
74. Are you ticklish?

I don't remember.
75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Only about your Momma but that one turned out to be true.
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

I am a teacher now and have been a teacher or instructor since I was 14 years old. I am good in a crisis situation and treat my students with respect.
77. Have you ever drank underage?

Not as much as I should have but my folks had Rye Whiskey and that always gave me wicked hangovers because of the Rye. Now Vodka, made from the distillations of the potato is much kinder on me.
78. Have you ever done drugs?

Why aren't you a dear to ask. Pass me that douchie on the left hand side.
79. Who was your first real crush?

Caroline Munro from Golden Voyage of Sinbad.

80. How many piercings do you have?

I had a diamond earing on my left ear for years that was given to me by a old girlfriend because she had lost the other part of the matched set. I took it as a nice gesture but since she crushed my soul I let the whole in my earlobe grow back in.
81. Can you roll your Rs?

Like a RRRRRomanian.
82. How fast can you type?

Like the wind, old woman. I type like the wind. I have told the story so many times about how I struggled as a young boy to master the skill, while under the tutelage of an evil typing master. Many a child died under his 'care' but I persevered and survived his instruction to become the prolific producer of great content that you know this day. So fuck you Mr Chudobiak...and thank you at the same time.
83. How fast can you run?

FASTER THAN A WOMAN! (And if you get THAT reference you are a TRUE Canadian and a fan of 80s pop music)

84. What color is your hair?

Red and silver.
85. What color are your eyes?

Blue within blue like the Fremen of Arrakis.

86. What are you allergic to?

Camel hair. Of all the substances on Earth it would have to be camel hair.
87. Do you keep a journal?

This blog is pretty much a journal of my thoughts and interests, which, if we can be honest, are fascinating.

88. What do your parents do?

My mother worked with elderly patients with Alzheimers for most of her caregiving career. My father was a Soldier/Peacekeeper in the Canadian Armed Forces for 32 years.

89. Do you like your age?

I do. I can still act like a kid but have all the benefits of being an adult. Plus I almost got to 50 with both my knees intact. But it's not fun to be alone at this age. I have no family or friends and is something that NEVER improves with age.
90. What makes you angry?

The strong preying on the weak. Institutionalized racism. Religious morons.

91. Do you like your own name?

I LOVE it. I am one of the few Calvins I have ever known. I am as unique and timeless as my name.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Logan for a girl. Shut-up. It's a beautiful name.
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

A girl child would be a fresh perspective. I know what it's like to be a boy and we are strange creatures.

94. What are you strengths?

Making something out of my bitterness. How I am able to motivate others when I can't motivate myself is something that deeply troubles me.
95. What are your weaknesses?

I tend to get anxious at the most inopportune times.
96. How did you get your name?

I am named after my father which is the way it's done.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Wasn't everyone's? I like to think I would have made a good King. I would love to make one of the big speeches.

98. Do you have any dreams left?

Only to live the years I have left well.
99. Color of your bedspread?

100. Color of your room?

Colorful from all the action figures on the walls.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hilarious as usual. #67: touché, Yanks.

Omega Agent1 said...

Very Funny and Super Cool Cal.

Kal said...

Thanks. Did you catch the news about the Suicide Squad spinning out of ARROW? Bronze Tiger is part of the team played by Michael Jai White.