Saturday, June 30, 2018

Spire Christian Comics

OMG...It's like Tumblr just reached into the deepest part of my psyche and pulled out the most shameful story of my comic book loving life. For two summers when I was 8 and 9 I got sent to Bible Camp for a week. The camp was a familiar one that existed so that groups could have a safe place to camp near to the base if any accidents occured and their were showers and cooking facilies and cabins. We slept in tents.

Now camping is fun but only for about three days. Then you want some televison and pizza and some cold cola. So anything to break the savage routine was welcomed. So when Father Fun showed up with a box of comic books we all thought we had found some buried treasure. Of course before we could sneek off to read them he had us clean the kitchen tables. We worked like maniacs and soon were running off to enjoy the afternoon.

I can't properly explain to you the profound sense of disappointment that came from looking in that box. Their were Archie comics on top but they were BIBLE ARCHIES. In fact all the comics were bible comics. The covers may have looked interesting but inside it was the most hardcore Christian propaganda a kid could ever be exposed to. Even at that age I knew this was laying the Jeebus on a bit THICK.

Reading these same issues years later made me insane. There are codes to protect kids from violent images but not mindless, cult like tactics that preach devotion to over rational thought. If these were the only comic book I had ever read it would have turned me into a serial killer. Thank the gods for Spider-Man. He always cleaned that rotten taste out of my brain that came from Bible comics.

They even spoiled JOHNNY CASH.
That is unforgiveable.



Debra She Who Seeks said...

I was spared Christian comics, Praise Jesus, but I did actually read the book "The Cross and the Switchblade." I remember it as being not too bad, although I'm sure it would not stand up to my scrutiny today.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

It was a movie with Pat Boone I think. It was all the rage back then. Before you know...all the molestation they did.

nolan said...

I'm disappointed, bro... Where's Hansi?!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I just thought that same thing. I will find her. That was a bizzarre pop cultural relic.