Life Under Quarantine

I went out to the IGA today to get much needed supplies. It was a trip, Man. First of all there is the cart kid at the door telling you that you have to take a cart - one that he has sanitized, which is what he does all day. For someone with the cleanliness OCD gene, he must be in heaven. He certainly was happy. The fresh food is low but the meat is plentiful and cheaper along with my diet Pepsi. But I will miss the fruits and veggies when they are gone. I will have to stock up heavy on the cherries when they arrive in the summer but they will cost a fortune. I image a lot of people will be buying what they can to make jams for the winter. Exotic fruit will become a myth around here very shortly. I am glad they still make canned pineapple rings.

The tills were roped off like a Hollywood red carpet event. You had to follow the right arrows on the floor so that you never have to pass a person in the aisle. So that leaves you at the mercy of the slow shopper who has to stop and look at a list then look at the empty shelve then look back at the list, then the shelf again. I was ready to lose it many times but after the banking 'incident' I didn't want to get banned for being a douchebag at this time of crisis. So I smiled and waited to do my trip around the grocery store 'track'. That was cool because then I had time to look at selection and make decision about what to buy. Like the canned pineapple rings. I love them with waffles on the weekend.

Baking supplies are all but gone no matter how many times they are restocked. Again, that philosophy of making your own food is making a comeback big time. People are FINALLY teaching their kids to make homemade pizza. I was doing that at age seven to get a cub scout badge and I never stopped. Than you Dad for teaching me how to cook a little of everything so that I could feed myself. I had to use my Mother's dough connection to get the ingredients I needed to make my famous cinnamon buns. The secret is to line the bottom of the cooking dish with a slurry made from brown sugar and butter. Then SWEAT the buns so they don't dry out.

Speaking of feeding myself. There was no deli or baking aside from fresh bread. There were no platters of party snacks like fruit and cheese and meat platters. No homemade sammiches. No individual mini-salads. No feta cheesed filled hot peppers. That one hurt me bad. I always get those from my same deli staff who now are gone. Now there is a line-up for the teller who is behind a sneeze guard like she is a salad bar. Everyone was quiet. No music on the intercom lest something like REM accidentally gets played and people start freaking out. Not a fun experience at all.

But there was Chapman's ice cream. I had to decide between 8 drumsticks or 18 Revels. I made the only sane choice.

It's like we got hit by a destructive weather event but nothing around me is damaged. Except for my spirit of course but that was broken long before this pandemic started. Like I say all the time. I have been self-isolating for years. I always imagine I am in a solo space craft orbiting the Earth. Or alone on the surface of the Moon like in the movie MOON. I know how to do this and I could cruise through another 3-5 years no problem even with the vampire mummies that are soon to rise from the dead. In fact I could teach a class on self-isolation. I love being alone. I guess I have been training for the Apocalypse my whole life. Who knew?



Found this from grocery store workers. Makes sense in the new order. They have the shit I need. They are close. They have great prices. They own me. So I follow their directives until they turn to evil. Then I have to destroy them but FOR NOW. I conform.

1. Don’t bring your whole family to the store — come alone if you can.
2. Don’t get in an employee’s personal space.
3. Don’t ignore any markers on the floor that encourage social distancing.
4. Don’t go to the store if you feel sick.
5. Don’t give employees unsolicited advice on how to protect themselves.
6. Don’t come to the store “just to get out of the house.”
7. Don’t touch stuff you don’t intend to buy.
8. Don’t tell employees how “lucky” they are to have a job.
9. Don’t complain about items being out of stock.
10. Don’t ask them to “check in the back” for out-of-stock items, either.
11. Don’t complain to your cashier about having to touch the keypad to complete your transaction.
12. Don’t try to sanitize the credit card machine before touching it.
13. Don’t fight with other customers over hard-to-find items.
14. Don’t complain about the store’s new hours.
15. If your store has set up special shopping hours for elderly, pregnant, or immunocompromised customers, don’t violate them.
16. Don’t whine about store limits on how much toilet paper or hand sanitizer you can buy.
17. Don’t pay with cash if you have the option of using a credit/debit card.
18. Don’t tell employees that you think all these new precautions are an “overreaction” or “unnecessary.”
19. Just don’t be rude!