His Thumb Is Enormous

That's the final straw. With all the things that makes Mittens the creepiest robot I have encountered lately, his mutant thumb is his most terrifying feature. In fact his hand looks it it was a donor hands from an executed serial killer. Don't get me started on his hair.

All this before he even utters one word. That is a high bar to overcome for any Mormon. I think he's gotta replace his magical underwear because it's lost it's power. Maybe like with static electricity you just have to rub a balloon against them before dressing in the morning. Just looking out for you, Mitt. I owe you that much for the comedy your campaign has brought to my life.

"Corporations are people my friend" - fuck you

You travel to Canada for hours with a terrified dog on the roof of your car - fuck you

You took struggling companies and looted their pensions for everything you could stuff into your grubby little pockets - all while being a child of privilege who had enough money to be happy for several lifetimes - double fuck you

He once killed a man at his club for talking the last free comb out of the bathroom comb bowl. That is a true story.

I feel so badly for the pounding he is going to take in November. The 4th is not going to be a happy day for Mitt. The level of failure that will hit him will haunt him for the rest of his life which is a little taste of the hell that waits him. Fuckin' vulture capitalist.

His very public fail will be delicious for me to watch. That is if he doesn't get the biggest surprise of a lifetime at this summer's Republican convention.

We call that, the 'Ol' Screwgie'.