Monday, April 23, 2012

Just Because You Didn't Ask - The First Fifty

Let's get weird
  • 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

I don't text message but as for the last person I typed a message too - most definitely would I rock her world, rock it so hard that she would make me grilled cheese sammiches forevermore.
  • 2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
Nope. There is a reason that exes exist - so I could ignore them and remember them in evil ways.
  • 3. Have you taken someones virginity?
I was sick that day. I am the last person that anyone wants to give something that important to.
  • 4. Is trust a big issue for you?
I give a lot of trust up front but that means I can be hurt. If I can't trust you then you are dead to me.
  • 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
All my favorite people live too far from me. I wish I could teleport to spend time with all of the great people who I have met doing the 'Cave of Cool'.
  • 6. What are you excited for?
Spring, summer, swimming, losing weight, walking just before dawn, brushing the kitty cat and sleeping under the swing when it rains, thunderstorms and mutant lightning.
  • 7. What happened tonight?
I have been sleeping very well lately so every time I get up I feel this strange mental calmness from being rested. It's a bit scary.
  • 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
Only if they throw up on me before stripping off their cloths in the shower so I can see their birthmark.
  • 9. Is confidence cute?
Only if it is not used for evil. Humble and cute is so much more appealing.
  • 10. What is the last beverage you had?
Cold ice water
  • 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
Maybe 3 and they are all agents for the U.N. (but I have said too much already)
  • 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
I should but I shop in the husky boy section
  • 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
Saturday Night Live and a Vodka Gimlet
  • 14. What are you going to spend money on next?
Groceries tomorrow, new magazines, hard cherry candy and something from the pasty family
  • 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
I wish because she was a slut and was always DTF
  • 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
I am going to be about 60 or more pounds lighter and will still move like a jungle cat through the trees.
  • 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
Usually my female friends.
  • 18. The last time you felt broken?
What time is it. I always feel broken about one thing or another at one time or another in my day.
  • 19. Have you had sex today?
No, because your sister works the late shift. I kid I kid. Everyone knows she doesn't work at all.
  • 20. Are you starting to realize anything?
That I am not so upset as I thought I would be because I have no real friends and lives most of my days truly alone. No crazy squirrel carving behavior yet.
  • 21. Are you in a good mood?
Generally, yes
  • 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
I love the pool so that shark would have to be in the pool with me. Secondly I would want one who has bitten a human at one point in it's life so it knows how bad we taste. Then I could ride him.
  • 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
Oh course because I am his son.
  • 24. What do you want right this second?
Pastry or a Pepsi on ice (I so miss the tingle of the soda bubbles)
  • 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
Swing baby, do your thing. You are platinum.
  • 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
Natural. Always reddish brown with blond streaks.
  • 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
NEVER - I need a laugh that sounds like music more than I need a pretty face. But she has to find ME funny in such a way that it makes her sexual attraction to me be overwhelming.
  • 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
Ricky Gervais Show
  • 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
I would die for her as I have always been prepared to do. But I hate her too so you can see my dilemma.
  • 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
Yes, unless your name is Hitler or Donald Trump
  • 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
Yes, it was that damn paperboy - our relationship can only end with his death or mine
  • 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
I would hope so. Do you know, Malibu?
  • 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
I quit drinking soda for health reasons a year ago. It was hard but I did it and feel much better.
  • 34. Listening to?
Classic Rock
  • 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
I do that when I write my graphic novels. Everything is down in pencil from drawings to lettering.

           36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

I do actually. We talk occasionally. She means a lot to me and vice versa.
  • 37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I fall in love ever day.
  • 38. Who did you last call?
My pot girl - she is really efficient and safe
  • 39. Who was the last person you danced with?
The same pot girl when I was named customer of the month.
  • 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
The pot girl was cute and very happy for my win also. No tongue, however.
  • 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake
I ate one off a clown's belly this morning.
  • 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
  • 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
All the time. I usually cover it by faking a stroke.

           44. Do you tan in the nude?
I don't want to burn my schmeckle.
  • 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
No, because his whiskers tickled.
  • 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
Myself - does that count.
  • 47. Who was the last person to call you?
The water guy.
  • 48. Do you sing in the shower?
Like a superstar, baby.
  • 49. Do you dance in the car?
Like it's Studio 54
  • 50. Ever used a bow and arrow?
Like Katniss in the Hunger Games


csmith2884 said...

Sweet ..feeling a bit up today aren't we?...good to see my friend

Sarah said... it! Best word for that certain piece of male anatomy that I've heard in a long time.

DrGoat said...

One must have a good relationship with their pot girl. It's an exclusive club.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

The stuff can make people dope stupid and I like to deal with someone who knows that it's business - so let's do business.