Monday, April 27, 2015

A Special Message To Bastard American Toy Sellers Who Will Not Ship To Canada

The guy on the Facebook toy group wanted 37 dollars for this. If that included shipping to Canada I be after this mint in box 1976 Mayor McCheese figure like a monkey on a cupcake. But of course this is another example of something that I would have bought but the person who is selling won't ship to my third world nation. This seems the week for all this b.s. to get under my skin.

You ALL know that Mayor McCheese is my political hero. He is my JFK and Lincoln all rolled into one very special public servant. With the wisdom of Solomon he ruled over the wacky little fiefdom that was McDonaldland with peace and love. He was the one who kept the trains running on time. He made sure that the streetlights never went out and the that deep fryers always had hot fat at the ready...just in case their was a need for emergency fries. The man was a philosopher and a servant of the people. And he did it all without making payoffs to thuggish union bosses like Grimace. He never took DIME ONE from any special interest groups. He held the line at corruption and while Big Mac his police chief maybe did beat the crap out of the Hamburgler more time than The Mayor would have liked, he did champion the cause of prisoners rights. He gave that thief the benefit of the doubt so many times he could almost be accused of enabling the crimes that would get the Burgler abused all over again each time he was released on parole and then quickly rearrested.

Of course I would not need to vent if I could just have the figure sent to me without having to go through an American third party. I can't do it. I won't do it. I just want to be treated fairly as a collector and I want my MAYOR McCHEESE ACTION FIGURE DAMMIT!!! I swear, this week is gonna be full of this bullshit. I bet I find a figure a day that I would have paid for if only it could be placed in a box and then finds it's way to me by whatever is the cheapest and most efficient way possible. Am I the crazy one here? It's THEM right?

I miss out again and that bums me out so I took my search further online and found THIS glorious figure. Follow the link to see why this only vexed me more than I was already vexed.

16 bucks but SOLD OUT!!!
Next I would have searched for the illusive glassware from McDonald's like the one that I used for years until it fell and broke along with my heart. I have dreams where I am at a huge toy sale in some giant barn somewhere and the glass is illuminated by a sunbeam and appears right in front of me while the angles sing a hymn of celebration. And then the seller gives me a break because he can see the glass is going to a loving home.

Update - I just sent my first negative post ever on Facebook on the post that has this figure up for sale. I know I am getting kicked out of this group. It was a good group too but they are going to banish me.

Calvin Heighton again..why not ship to Canada. It's freakin across the border. We do have regular mail service. We are a real modern country. So I get denied the chance to have my beloved McCheese by my side. Well a pox on all you...a POX.

I wished a pox on another human being over a toy. Arguably a very special toy. My Velveteen Rabbit as it were.

None of you understand my pain.


paulierockets said...

Tell me about it. I grew up in Hawaii. I was forever being told that stuff I wanted to order from US firms was "not shipped internationally." Or "only within the States themselves--no territories or dependencies." Or "There are no express routes to Hawaii." Or "Postage is prohibitively costly." Which was not true. Honolulu got dozens and dozens of 747s landing and taking off around the clock. While the passenger compartments were often stuffed full of passengers, Those jumbos had so much space that the Postal Service between Honolulu and most Mainland cities was actually a lot quicker than between some mainland US cities.

Made me want to go down to the airport and make people produce their passports."US Citizen? Passport please. You don't have one? Oh dear, Col. Ramos of the Secret Police can be so unreasonable..." I actuall did know a HPD officer named Ramos. He was the absolute last guy you'd cast as the sinister repressive secret police officer. But I digress.

People who won't ship to Canada (or Canadia as one woman insisted it was) or Hawaii or whatever are: 1) too lazy to change what their routine is, because that would take thought, 2) greedy and cheap, because the cost *may* be a bit higher, and they are probably ripping people off on the shipping and why ruin a good thing, and finally 3) stuck in the 70s. There have been *competing* overnight shippers to Beijing, Singapore, Mumbai, etc. for 20 years now, dammit. McMurdo ASpound, yeah, I can see it--but a friend of mine who worked there said that during their summer low-priority stuff could get there in a few weeks.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Thanks for feeling my pain brother. I got some loose figures last years from China and the shipping was FREE...FROM FREAKIN' CHINA. Australia - 10 dollars to ship my loose Oscar Goldman figure. Drives me crazy.

j-swin said...

You're better off without that false idol tainting your collection. That crooked, rat bastard McCheese shouldn't receive one ounce of accolade from the people. Corruption, debauchery and violence were his hallmarks, and you want to talk about self serving? Look no further!
Now. Big Mac? There is a public servant, there is the god damned salt of the earth. 27 loyal years on the force and he never took one CENT of dirty money. Seems like your friend McCheese could take a lesson from him.

david_b said...

"Send McCheese to Baltimore...."

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Everyone has a Holy Grail in their life, Cal. Yours just happens to be a Mayor McCheese drinkin' tumbler.

DrGoat said...

That bastard reminds me of our politicians here in the US. david's right, send him to Baltimore, or Mississippi for that matter. He's fit right in down there. Put him in a cell with that other asshat ball headed Jack in the Box.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

You got him all wrong my brothers. You just see the top hat and fine cloths and you be hatin'. Now Jack in the Box is an unstable lunatic and his expressionless face hides a dark dark anger at the world. He talks so sickly sweet that you enjoy the food just that much more. Tell me that isn't evil.

J-swim, you are what is wrong with this country. I got no problem with Big Mac laying the boot to a prisoner or two but to say that McCheese is dirty is just beyond the pale. Where is your evidence. Where are the bodies. Except for the old Irish Gimmace looking guy, no one has gone missing from McDonaldland in decades. You just resent that the Cheese runs a tight ship, does his own wetwork, gets a little pussy on the side but does it all to serve he PEOPLE. You think he was Putin to hear you talk. Well he does also have the McDonaldland nuclear launch codes.

j-swin said...

oh i've got the evidence is coming, brother. don't you worry, it will all come out in the wash! the whole top is going to blow wide open then we'll see who laughs last.