Thursday, June 7, 2018

I Know It's True Because I Have Been To Your Governments And I Have See The Reports And The Films

So I know this story is the truth. Hitler sent a monkey to the Moon but they missed the mark and he ended up in PLUTO! He told the Monkey he would bring him home and make him a hero of the Fatherland but Hitler lied. But that would mean that Hitler had no intention of ever bringing that brave anti-semetic monkey back safely to Earth. He lied to that monkey and that monkey was a true believer to the cause. In fact he was top of the very first class of Nazi Monkey Youth. It's how he came to Hitler's attention in the first place. True story.

What I love most is that the evidence for all this is on PLUTO where somehow they got pictures of the Nazi space craft and the poor skeletal remains of a monkey that no doubt survived the landing but died after he left the safety of his ship and froze to death just feet from it. Or so this satelite photography would lead me to conclude. As a historian I can say that this does pass the smell test.


DrGoat said...

Missed the part where they put a satellite in orbit around Pluto, but, considering all the bizarre news lately, I believe it. They used one of those new-fangled V-2 rockets. It would take about 70 yrs. for it to get there, so yes, true.
PS I answered your query in the 'you're so vain' post a page back.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Death to all Nazi Monkeys everywhere, on the Earth or on Pluto.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I am with you. They fucked it up for Space Monkeys everywhere as far as I am concerned.