Sunday, December 30, 2018

True Facts I Refuse To Believe

Do you realize that Starbucks is named after the first mate from Moby Dick? I will bet you the guy who started the business never finished the book because NO ONE DID! In the news story he said it was his favorite book. So I can infer from that fact that the creator of Starbucks is illiterate.

Here are a few theories on why someone might not like this book:
  • A prejudice towards books with that many pages.
  • Believing that this is a story about a whale hunt. Haha.
  • Skipping the prologue and going straight to the story, not realizing that the book is not meant to be taken seriously until much, much later.
  • Loathing Ishmael from the very beginning (not difficult).
  • Getting too distracted with his digressions.
  • Finding all the ominous portents too obvious and losing interest.
  • And the fact that Ishmael spoils the ending very early in the book doesn't help, really.
  • Possibly being offended by the comments on culture and religion, particularly christianity.
  • Being irritated by the narrative changes: sometimes from Ishmael's point of view, sometimes from an omniscient narrator, sometimes no idea. And why are some chapters written like a play?
  • Not being interested in the intricacies of whaling, which comprise maybe about 40% of the book.
  • Feeling threatened by what some call the "homoerotic overtones". I'm looking at you, chapter 94.
  • Feeling impatient because, is the whale going to show up already?
  • What? Was that it? (Told you, it wasn't really about the whale hunt)
  • EVERYONE DIES. Except Ishmael, but screw him.
  • Very possibly didn't even read the thing but only perused the sparknotes or something.

1 comment:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

"Everyone dies but Ish and the Fish."