Wednesday, May 28, 2014

More Meme About Me

1. First thing you wash in the shower?

Meat and two veg.

2. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker?

I drink neither. I want to drink wine but then I will become a wino. And I have never liked coffee. Got sick on it as a teen. While waiting for ride that never came, I took advantage of Denny's 'bottomlees' cup of coffee and drank about ten cups of that vile swill. Then I puked for a few hours the next morning once I was finally rescued. Never again. I drink Vodka but not very often. I would like to get into red wine but I don't know what is good. Anyone have recommendations?

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I am under court order not to do that anymore since I kissed the guy who delivered my Fried Chicken meal during a blizzard. I was just happy to have food. Who knew he would involve the authorities? He should have been flattered.
4. Do you plan outfits?

If having only two outfits means planning, then yes.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?

Sad, unfulfilled, lonely. Like I am having a hard time filling my days with things that fill my soul. Like I want to walk into the Australian outback and never come back. Just the usual happy little thoughts.
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?

My cold and bitter heart. But that is more of a blackish red with frost on it.

7. What would you do if you opened your door and saw a dead body?

Hope it was someone I didn't know. Things get complicated with law enforcement after that. Someone with no connect to me and no DNA in my house and I am clear. Plus I will go on Maury Povich and take his lie detector test because it's the only machine I trust. I got this covered.
8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?

I was trying to sell Tom Cruise on starring in my 'Hello Kitty' live action movie in a pizza place with checkered tablecloths. Then a sports car crashed through the front picture window of the pizza place and top jumps in - on to his next meeting. I never did get an answer on my movie.
9. Three of your current feelings?

Crushing lonliness, disappointment in myself and fear for my future.
10. What are you craving right now?

affirmation, fresh cherries bought from a van off the side of the road,

11. Turn ons?

attention, recognition, validation, support, red hair, and a laughter that sounds like music. I am a funny guy so I need to like the laughter of those I am with.
12. Turn offs?

Long rides, travel between destinations, not enough checkouts at WalMart, Hillbillies (you Honey Boo Boos know the ones I am talking about. You hate them yourselves), spoiled celebrities whose fall will be sweet to watch.
13. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?

Mrs Viviaski's Cabbage Rolls and Coffee at a Happy Wanderers concert.

14. When was the last time you cried? Why?

I have no more tears left for me or this world.
15. If you could be a superhero, who would you want to be?

Superman - for the awe and wonder of the experience

16. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize?

Never because her heart is a frozen piece of glacier ice.
17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

I do a little bit of both, baby. Sometimes I do a tongue swirlie thing that they still talk about at the girl 's dorm.
18. Favorite movie ever?

Legends of the Fall

19. Do you like yourself?

Don't ask me that question right now.
20. Have you ever met a celebrity?

Is Prince Charles a celebrity?
21. Could you handle being in the military?

At one time in my life, maybe. I was an air cadet and I loved the environment very much. But I am now past the age where I will go kill for the 'Honky's Amusements'. I know too much about war and how it seems to be old men sending young men to die so that old men can enrich themselves. Everyone talks a good game but no one does for the veterans all they could be doing. They get lied to and risk their lies for a promise that was never going to be fulfilled in the first place. If you notice most of them come from humble backgrounds. No rich man's son ever went to war if he could avoid it.
22. What are you listening to right now?

I like a little Haim when the Howard Stern Show is a repeat.

23. How many countries have you visited?

Many places. Some on the books, some off. It's a dangerous world out there and someone has to do the important work to keep us all safe. But I have said too much already.
24. Are your parents strict?

No, they never were. They had two children with very strong spirits so they decided to go with them and encourage their weirdness rather than fight a losing battle trying to break them and make them conform.
25. Would you go sky diving?

I have done that twice. Once from 3300 feet and once from 10,000 feet. Both times on my own and not attached to the guy like most people. I had to land all on my own. They tell me that I opened my chute INSIDE the bomber we dropped out the back of at 10,000 feet but I deny the story to this day.
26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?

Only if I could stab him repeatedly in the head with my shrimp fork.,
27. What's on your mind right now?

How hot and miserable this summer will be for me.

28. Is there anything you want to say to someone?

What, is it Festivas already? Because I have a lot of issues with you people!
29. Have you ever been in a castle?

I have been in a myriad of castles. I lived in Europe for five years and that place is castle central.
30. Do you rent movies often?

31. What's your zodiac sign?

Gemini - which means I have twice as many ways than you to be cool.
32. When was the last time you had sex?

Ask your Momma. I am not good with dates.
33. Name five facts about yourself.

What do you want to know? I have told you so much about myself already. Ask away in the comments section.
34. Ever had a near death experience? If so, what happened?

I was shot in the face trying to save some abused women and children and I was shot in the face by a shotgun with old ammunition so I lived. I still suffer the nightmares from that time. True story. I need the x-rays of my head to travel because of the metal shot in my head. I hate it so much that I want to dig it out with a spoon sometimes.
35. Do you believe in karma or predestiny?

Karma, most definitely. But I reject predestiny. No one knows what path their life will take.

36. Brown or white eggs?

I do prefer the brown ones even though I know there is no difference nutritionally. They just remind me of breakfast on the farm.
37. Do you own something from Hot Topic?

I would if they come out with something that really impressed me.
38. Ever been on a train?

Many times. I actually jumped on an open boxcar with my buddies and rode it from Shilo to Winnipeg. That was over 200 miles. When we got to the big city we took the bus to my aunt's work. She fed us and gave us money for the movies. We saw Moonraker and then took the interbase bus back home that night. It was a great adventure for a 14 year old.

39. Ever been in love?

Not really because love is reciprocated and I never had anyone ever love me. I am a goblin. I feel like a cursed Disney Princess.
40. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you do it?

I will do it for half that amount because in all my years of research and WISHING it to be so, there is no such thing as a ghost or spirit or spectre.
41. If you could trade places with any person living or dead, who would you trade places with?

Someone ordinary who didn't make as many life mistakes as I did. Someone other people could look up to and respect. Someone with cool kids to raise and a wife who likes my faults but thinks I can be redeemed.
42. If you could shorten your life expectancy by 10 years to become more attractive, would you do it?

Why not. Beats what I got going now.
43. Whom do you admire and why?

My Mother
44. What was your favorite bedtime story as a child?

I read to myself so it was anything I could get my hands on. I hated to sleep as a kid. I would stay up late and listen to my little transistor radio or read under the covers with a flashlight. As I got older I would sneak downstairs and watch TV early in the AM. That was my favorite time of the day.
45. You’re walking down the street, you come across a burning building. A woman says her baby is trapped inside, what would you do?

Tell her to call someone more competent to help her child. I would assume there would be all kinds of real heroes around. I would drop the child or end up getting myself killed.
46. If you could choose the future profession of your son or daughter, would you?

Sure. But I would like them to be happy and maybe help make the world a better place. But that boat has sailed.
47. What was your best experience on drugs or alcohol?

Going to the all night arcade just across the street from my University apartment while high as a kite. Those were good times.
48. What was your worst experience on drugs or alcohol?

Nyquil Psychosis - that trip you go on when you drink too much Nyquil when you are sick.

50. As your walking down the street you find a suitcase full of money sitting next to a parked car, would you take it?

Better to apologize later than ask permission. That could be terrorist money that I would be using for much more benevolent purposes.
51. If you found that a close friend has AIDS, would you still hang out with them?

Of course. I am educated about how I can protect myself from getting the disease.
52. In front of you are 10 pistols, 5 of which are loaded. If you survive you’d receive 100 million dollars. Would you be willing to place 1 to your head and pull the trigger?

Sure, because I have a decent chance to end my suffering without pain or fuss. Then I could win the money.
53. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

When was the last time your Momma came by my place?
54. Do you believe in ghosts, werewolves or vampires?

Like I said. I wish these troublemakers existed because then there would be a job hunting them down. But sadly only we normal humans and our hillbilly brothers exist.
55. If you could live forever, would you want to?

Sure, if I had a hobby or goals and dreams to pursue. Or launch me into space and see how far I get before I got nuts and woosh myself out of the airlock on my spaceship.
56. Which fictional movie character most resembles who you are?

57. If you could go back in time, which time period would you visit?

The time of the Musketeers in France. I like the idea of carrying around a sword and fighting with other sword carrying assholes whenever an insult was sent or received. Now that's just good living. Plus I would enjoy messing up the various evil schemes of the Cardinal Richelieu who as we know ruled France at the time through the King. Musketeers and King's men.

58. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it?

If the person was particularly vile like Donald Trump or Sarah Palin or Pat Robertson.
59. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it?

Now way. That job is thankless and ages a man by decades. Who would want to try to help a bunch of assholes who don't want the help because to work with the man would require some leadership? It's only going to get worse when Hillary is President. You think the Republicans hated a Black man, wait until they have to listen to a woman.
60. If you could choose the sex of your unborn child, would you want to?

Nope, they go through the lottery of life just like everyone else.
61. Would you rather live longer or be wealthy?

Living a long life in poverty is a cruel thing. I would like the comfort if I have to deal with all the things that this magical 'life' has to offer.



Debra She Who Seeks said...

You're in fine form, Cal. Fine form indeed. Laughed all the way through your answers except for the sad ones, of course.

Unknown said...

So funny most of it and very sad to hear about the time you were shot. Hug. And keep on being your bad-ass self sir!