Friday, May 30, 2014

Things You Can't Say In Canada

Well you can say it because we are polite about the whole thing but these are the things that only show your ignorance of us as a culture. The first one is my favorite because we really DON'T have an accent and we don't say ABOOT. We made that up so that when others make fun of us by using that word, we would understand amongst ourselves how ignorant that person is. No Canadian character ever used that word said in that way. Well maybe on South Park but that is comedy. And we get comedy.

Anything With a Fake Canadian Accent

When was the fake Canadian accent invented? It must have been sometime shortly after the country's inception in 1867 because it's really starting to show its rust. As cute and quaint as it might sound, the fake "Canadian accent" sounds nothing at all like how actual Canadians speak. That's not to say we don't have our own unique way of speaking, it's just that we're a lot more Wayne Gretzky than Doug Mackenzie.


Let's face it: a-boot jokes have always confused Canadians. It's true what they say about accents: everyone has one and you can't always hear your own but this whole business about Canadians saying a-boot instead of about is just crazy. If anything, we say a-boat or, more accurately, a-beh-out. So, don't say a-boot unless you want to get kicked by one.

I Disagree With Your Religious Beliefs

Argue over politics, expound your views on gay marriage, even publicly take a stance on abortion, but never talk about religion. Unless, of course, you're saying something to the effect of "I support your right to believe what you believe." Though the country is more than two-thirds Christian, religion remains an issue Canadians prefer to keep within the walls of their private homes and holy places. A lot of the world's conflicts are rooted in religion and Canadians are a peace-loving people. It all comes down to the fact that we want to like each other. Maybe the best way to do that is to ignore each other's differences.

Hey! I'm Walking Here!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where do you think you are, New York City? In Canada, there's only one thing you say when someone bumps into you: sorry. The classic apology can mean anything from sincere acknowledgement of a mistake to passive aggressive annoyance. Just be sure you don't put any stink on the word; as annoyed as you might be, it's important to say sorry without sounding like you're trying to start something.


Dr. Theda said...

We hear you My Friend....

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The only Canadians who say "aboot" are a few old Ontario people who live in the Niagara peninsula and are descended from Scots. It's really a Scottish pronunciation.

Kal said...

Exactly my point.