Wednesday, December 14, 2016

I Have Many Questions About This Picture

First of all, why is this place opened in the SUMMER? Even in the deep south, Dec is not short wearing weather. Why would you take your kid to Santa's Village in July? That is bad parenting.
Why is this kid holding hands with a stranger in a costume in the woods? This is every missing child case I have ever heard about. They all begins at Santa's Enchanted Workshop and end on a milk carton
On a warm summer day does the guy stay in the suit all day long? What does that smell after three days of a heat wave? Does he care or does he keep it that way because it covers the smell of the vodka on his breath. Vodka and Nicorette gum and a rash from that sweat and tick filled beard.

Why is Santa so skinny in the summer? Doesn't he have reindeer meat to be cooking on the bbq while elves toil in sweltering sweat shops under this smelling, skinny Santa who has trouble making the bills in the summer. Nothing like the scratch he can make in December for sure.

Where are the bodies generally buried on the site? Is it random or more organized. The Clause does take good records so I assume he would be very efficient about it. The same way he negotiates with the Chinese for plastics to make those toys. All business, no bullshit or people in Beijing start dying with bells on their bodies which look like they have been beaten with hoofs.

Feel free to add your own questions in the comment section.

Thank You

The Management.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Now THIS is just good investigative journalism, Cal.

DrGoat said...

This is where the naughty children go. There's an elf with a wood chipper around back.

Tamarin said...

I think it might be 'Santa's Village' in Ontario.... which probably raises more questions.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I have a nose for the news debra.