I Hope This Is Just Fake News

Because if this is true then I need to know WHY? Why have you horded this treasure from us Carly? Do you hate us? Do you not want our lives enriched by your unique style that I can hardly believe can be contained in a single person. You have hurt me Carly. You have hurt us all.

 

I bet this is the same vault that Willy Wonka had under that evil Chocolate factory where he kept the bones of the dead Oompa Loompas and now the song catalogue of Carly Rae Jepsen. I know the security in that place. We would need her eyes and both of her hands just to get past the biometric locks. Hell take the whole head. You never know how they might have modified the system since the last time I was there.

 

Of course if she would just let us listen to the music all this unpleasantness can be avoided.

 

How can she have written so much music that no one has heard unless he is insane or lying or the music is really really bad and it's probably a combination of all three. This story will haunt me. I have to know if 200 is a real number or a 'trump' number.