Saturday, February 20, 2021

From The Caturday Files


1. SUPERIOR INTELLIGENCE Cats of Martian origin score 15 to 20 points higher on I! tests than ordinary cats 

2. PSYCHIC ABILITY — Martian cats respond to mental commands. “If you summon a Martian cat with your thoughts alone, it will come running from the next room,” Dr. Zeperwitz reveals. 

3. TWELVE LIVES — Instead of nine. If your kitty has survived more than 10 brushes with death and is still kicking, it likely has roots on the Red Planet.

4. DENSER HAIR BALLS — Martian cats cough up hair balls that tend to be more densely packed. 

5. HAUGHTY — Originating in a super-advanced civilization, Martian cats are unusually standoffish. 

6. POOR JUMPER — Evolving on a planet with lower gravity than Earth. Martian cats have less muscle mass and can’t bound as high as a terrestrial feline. 

7. UNUSUALLY OBSERVANT — Red Planet cats always seem to be watching you and may even follow you from room to room. “This provides support for the ‘guardian’ theory,” Dr. Zeperwitz observes. 

8. FINICKY ABOUT EARTH FOODS — Ordinary canned food rarely satisfies these uncanny creatures.

9. NO FEAR OF DOGS —‚ Perhaps because they evolved on a world without canines, Martian cats lack an instinctive terror of dogs. 

10. SOMETIMES “HEARS” THINGS — Experts theorize that cats who react to things we can’t hear may be picking up thought waves from the old masters in outer space.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

So many good ones! The Monster Cat video, the Niquil addicts, Anatole the Mouse's nightmare, the Lawyer Filter, Thor "Catnarok" (LOL), Lokitty, and David Bowie and his cat!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Thank you for telling me that.

Nick Ward said...

The cat flying up the stairs is killing me.

Count Robot said...

Lokitty rules