Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Yes, Erik, Another Rant With Words.

And just when were you humans going to tell me that one of my fav shows, MAJOR CRIME was back on TV. I know I can know about EVERYTHING but sometimes you got to help a brother out if something slips through the cracks.

Remember when the Shadow had all these 'associates' from all over the world who gave him vital information when he needed it. It was always cool. That is what you people are to me. You are smart and perceptive. and most importantly you are not retards and can see that if it quacks, it's most likely a duck. You can hold a conversation and be kind to whatever lunatic is contacting you. You don't believe the celebrities who try to cover up their crimes should breath the air we do. You want justice for everyone. You hate extreme forms of everything. You just want to be nice and do nice things for those you love. You should own a cat. Nothing to do with me but it generally just makes you cooler. And protects you from Mummies.

I chose you because together you are better than google. You are better than the old World Book Encyclopedias because you have life experience when I need to banter with someone who understands the generation I come from. I am honored to talk to old school friends. The fact that they are kind to a loser like me is very humbling. The fact you tolerate my captions means you are all kind to the mentally handicapped. It's like my vocation in the 'training center'. Caption then cats and I get a gold star on my whiteboard.

I admire you all if you are on my list. You are all platinum and the fact that I saw that in you is all the proof you need that it's the truth. I am never wrong about the hip kids, the funny kids, the slightly medicated kids (hey, it's for their own good). I don't joke around when it come to three things. I don't argue about cute. Cute is cute. Secondly I do not tolerate ANY man speaking poorly of Billy Jack. I don't have to tell you why your ignorance is intolerable to me. Don't test me on this. And thirdly, I have no real live friends so I appreciate my virtual tribe all the more.

Thanks what you share with me.

That being said you dropped the ball on the MAJOR CRIMES thing. I could show you my heart but it is broken. Ouch. A pain only my enemies should know.

Good thing I have the internet. It never lets me down.
But Happy Thanksgiving week anyways.
See you next year when it's a month long.


Erik Johnson Illustrator said...

Wow. Called out in the title of a blog post. I am speechless. I am without speech!

Also, you're welcome.

david_b said...

Agreed, Erik.. WOW.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Well, he bashed me the other day for writing too much of my balloon juice. And he was first choice to write my children's book.