Best of 2018 - Part 2

• Favorite smell - lavender
• Favorite Pizza- extra cheese and pepperoni
• Favorite flower - Tulips - they are the first flowers of spring. If the tulip harvest is good the summer will be good. I plant bulbs every fall since I was a pre-teen and spent a few weeks in Holland with my sister and my Mother while my Dad was on NATO war games. The Cold War was no joke at the human, family level.
• Dog Breed- Pugs because they always look like they are laughing at me. I feel like a funny person to them. Better than being judged by a trilling cat. She just can't RELAX. Baroness Frosty needs to CHILL.
• Favorite foot attire - Sneakers
• Hair color - golden. But I never had good hair. I have an okay bald head so I am okay with losing my hair. Couldn't wait to shave my head. Cal doesn't do the combover.
• Favorite ice cream - Tiger Tiger because you have to go to a specialty ice cream shop to get it. I have one of those five minutes from my house that only opens from May to September but ice cream treats and cones that are to die for.
• Pet peeves- People who think the Octopus are our friends. They think all those spiked tentacles are there to just hug you tighter. They are not consuming you with their sharp beak but they are ripping you apart while they are doing it. Oh and I hate Nazis as well. Nazis deserve a beating.
• Shorts or jeans - Space station jump suit and white socks but I have said too much already.
• What are you listening to now - Howard Stern
• Color of your vehicle - don't have one
• Color of eyes -  blue, like the Fremen of Arakis
• Favorite Holiday - Krampusnacht
• Night owl or day person - Hello darkness my old friend.
• Favorite day of the week - Friday
• Nickname- Calvin. I have a name. What do I need with a Nickname? It's madness.
• Favorite music - Everything I ever consumed in the 70s, 80s and 90s, plus some of that old country and western albums. Except for Conway Twitty. I always hated that hillbilly retard. I just want to slap his smug, smug face.
• Do you like to cook - yes, I absorbed much of the Food Channel when my Father was alive. Learned alot from IRON CHEF which we both loved. The English translation of that show is magnificent to listen to.
• Beer or wine? - Beer is swill to my palette. Wine makes me giggle. Shut up.
• Can you drive a manual shift? - I learned on my 77 Volkswagon Beatle. I loved that car. Damn fine German engineering. The ONLY good thing the Nazis ever created. It's a genius vehicle. I want to have a punch buggy now. I also feel the need to punch a Nazi despite their efficient engineering skills.
• Do you work out? - Cal does not run, jump, or climb. Those things will kill a man my age and only the GODS should be able to kill a man my age.
• Do you like vegetables? - They are okay people. They don't make much conversation though. They just kinda lie there. What is the point? It's cruel to keep them living that kind of life. Must be a horror. OH...you meant the the food vegetables. My mistake.
• Do you wear glasses? - When I want to see sometimes.
• Favorite season? Fall

 

I have a dream where General Okoye, one of the survivors of the Infinity War, leads a team of female Avengers. I just want to see more of her on screen. I have deep love for Danai Gurira.

 

 

 

 

Stupid Facebook Robot still thinks I am a girl.

 

SEE...THIS IS WHY YOU CAN NEVER HAVE MR T ATTACHED TO A CURLING GOLD MEDAL. His no-nonsense style is not for the laid back curling crowd. I mean I LOVE the A-Team and Rocky 3 and that dumb cartoon he had back in the eighties but curling is something I never saw in his future. Now he HAS to take up the game and become really good at it. This will be his third and best act yet. But damn those PITY THE FOOL WHO HOGS HIS ROCK lines will get old really fast.

Goddamn Team Shuster. NO ONE would have picked you to take home the Gold. I mean your last two Olympic finishes were 10th and 9th. You were just practice for the better teams. But not this year. 'Ham and Eggers' living the dream during the best two weeks of their lives. Don't get any better than that for a team that Canada has had the pleasure of beating up upon low these many decades. Now hopefully this will mean a Renaissance in American Curling. It's a good game. It's a hard game and you will get a workout but it's alot of fun to play. Like Golf. Once you play it, you will watch it on TV whenever you can. So kudos to my American brothers. No one believed in you because...I mean look at you.You took a BUS to South Korea that's how poor your Curling Federation is. In the US it's a joke because it's a sport that Americans really, really, really, suck at. Sure you are tops at bashing your head into another players head over a little ball but you can't Curl to save you lives. Truthfully, it's one of the things that disappoints us the most about you Yankees. You don't even try.

But Team Shuster won their games from the start and slowly made their way into the semi-finals and then the GOLD FREAKIN MEDAL GAME. TEAM USA did that. In CURLING! No, you don't understand. This NEVER happens. EVER. NOT IN MY LIFETIME! All I could do was sit there and watch it. The truth is that this moment was a long time coming. The world has been getting better and better and have finally caught the Canadians with the help of Canadian Coaches. We are still GODS at this game but so are many other teams. Our Men's and Women's teams left the Olympics with NO medals when just two weeks ago the Gold Medals were a LOCK....until it wasn't and it stopped being funny.

They made Thomas Edin of Sweden CONCEDE the game. CONCEDE. That just doesn't happen at this level. But Shuster got 10 freaking points on Edin (he got a FIVE in the eighth end which is also unheard of at this level) who is arguably one or the best ever to play the game. He was just stunned by a team he thought he would have no problem in beating. He's so good that he knows he's good but don't need to act like he knows he's good. He was one of the first Europeans to come to Canada to play in any crappy bonspiel he could get into just to learn the Canadian game. He knew he wouldn't be great without those skills in his back pocket. It's served him well. He's perennially the Swedish champion and he';s always around final weekend at any big Curling event. What I am saying is that Edin is no lightweight. He lost only ONE game at these Olympics. Well two if you could the Gold medal game. Everyone thought is would be Canada and Sweden in the final. You could put money on it. No brainer. Then comes those freakin Yankees who kept grinding out wins so they could get into the playoffs and never looked back. It's like they were possessed by that feeling we all have felt when we are in the A Event Final and around the 7th end you know you are going to win the whole thing. THEN the games gets fun. Hold you heads up high you magnificent Hillbilly bastards. You beat the best and you have a story that you will tell for the rest of your lives. I for one won't ever tire of hearing that tale over a rye and coke and a curling club cheeseburger.

But you all have to promise me that you won't go to the White House to see the performing monkey named Donald. You will give him a broom and he will pretend he knows how to use it and you will present him with a curling stone which he will drop on his foot because his tiny hands can't take the weight of all that granite. Then he will declare WAR ON CURLING and we will all be fucked. Don't spoil the great thing you just did here.

The U.S. men's team led by skip John Shuster has claimed the country's first-ever gold in curling after defeating Sweden 10-7 early Saturday.

Shuster scored five points in a dominant eighth end to break a 5-5 deadlock and place the medal all but around his neck.

The only previous medal in curling won by the U.S. was a bronze in 2006. Shuster was a member of that rink, as well.

It's a remarkable story for Shuster and the U.S. curling team - one that will certainly draw comparisons to the "Miracle on Ice" achieved by the U.S. men's hockey team in 1980.

Shuster skipped the U.S. team to dead-last finishes at Vancouver 2010 and Sochi 2014. Following those disappointments, he was cut from the national High Performance Program, which had the goal of creating a new curling training camp capable of producing athletes capable of better results on the world stage.

Shuster responded by creating a rink dubbed "The Rejects" and consisting of himself, John Landsteiner, Matt Hamilton, and Tyler George. The group won the 2015 U.S. championship and was eventually added to the High Performance Program and went on to win the 2017 U.S. championship and U.S. Olympic trials.

The this morning I read THIS headline which only furthers the mythology of this scrappy team of believers who look and talk and play like every single guy I have ever met in small town curling club. It's an Oscar winning movie in the making now. A cynical man would say some Hollywood PR Hack switched the medals or payed someone to switch the medals but I am not a cynical man.

Team Shuster Accidentally Awarded Gold Medals For Women's Curling

Part of me wishes that they would just keep the medals they were given. It's a better story anyways and give the MEN'S Gold Medals to their hometown curling club in Deluth, Minnesota. They can get new Medals for the Woman's Gold Medal winner.

 

 

This was my favorite sport story of the year and should be made into a movie. The Mr T angle alone should get me a meeting with SOMEONE.

 

 

The best movie I saw all year. It should be best picture but that will go to A Star Is Born but that is okay because we ALL know that the Panther will be robbed on Oscar night because the MAN loves to keep us brothers down.

 

https://calvinscanadiancaveofcool.blogspot.com/2018/02/black-panther-2018.html

  

The Funniest Joke (According to Science)

Okay, we saved the best for last. We guess. Here’s the joke that respondents on Wiseman’s survey found the most universally funny:
 

“Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. ‘My friend is dead! What should I do?’ The operator replies, ‘Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he’s dead.’ There’s a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, ‘Ok, now what?’”

 

Choose your accomplices carefully

 

 

I was overjoyed to see her cast in The Expanse. Her role as Chrisjen Avasarala is so damn kick ass as you can see in all these clips. If I have to give you ONE reason to watch The Expanse it would be to watch her play all sides against the others to ensure the safety of Earth.