Calvin's Canadian Cave of Coolness: May 2019

Friday, May 31, 2019

Savra Model

https://www.facebook.com/savra.model/

When I become Emperor I will need a reliable consort and personal assassin.

"Men who are vocal about any kind of mental issues can be dismissed as weak. As inferior. As flawed, broken guys who are more likely to be ostracized for their honesty, instead of rewarded for their brav...ery. Instead of affording a fellow man compassion, we mock, belittle, and turn a blind eye. We freely spit the phrase, 'Man up,' as though your gender alone should suffice to guide you through your darkest times.Or worse: we nonchalantly respond, 'Well, that sucks,' then change the subject because talking about feelings is just too real."

My mental illness is a strength that I channel all my rage and bitterness through. It gives me the focus to commit to somekind of creative outlet that lets me vent my anger at all that I hate in this world. I don't MAN UP. I don't pretend I am not annoyed. I never get over anything. My tolerance for personal suffering in silence is obscenely low. My mental illness is my free pass to act like a maniac and actually be a pretty harmless old crank who understands the pain of the world and feels it so intensely that I can't be around others all the time. I am exhaunsting to anyone but myself. So own your mental illness and understand that.And anyone who belittles my pain will soon learn not to mistake my compassion for weakness. Because I am also a dangerous animal if pushed to far or disrespected by cruelty.

I once saw a man on fire
Staring at his window
Watching as the flames grew higher and higher
I thought that i saw him cry
Or was he only laughing
As his life went rushing on..

And maybe we're just like him..
Maybe we're all waiting
For our moment to begin

Who of us are open
Who of us have freedom really
Who of us can tell what these dark days will bring
All of us are hurting
All of us are crazy now
All of us are watching the world as it spins

I once had bird like u
A bird of prey
Still your tearing at my insides
And yesterday when you flew so far away
If you find the morning save a piece for me

Who of us are open
Who of us have freedom really
Who of us can tell what these dark days will bring
All of us are hurting
All of us are crazy now
We're crazy now..

I'll smoked a cigerette
I'll eat the flesh instead
Another whiskey more or less
Or more or less, yea
I like the drugs that sail
I love u when we fail
When we fail

I once saw a man on fire
Staring at his window
Watching as the flames grew higher and higher
I thought that i saw him cry
Or was he only laughing
Laughing..

Who of us are open
Who of us have freedom really
Who of us can tell what these dark days will bring
All of us are hurting
All of us are crazy now
We're crazy now..

All of us are hating
All of us are dreaming
All of us are watching these times of our lives
We want it all
We want for nothing
For nothing now

You Are Ruining This Historical Re-enactment For Me, Sister Girl

Because if I can't believe that you are an actual 19th Century butter churner then how can't I believe ANYTHING about what your entire presentation when you PROMISED me in the brochure that I would be transported to the past.

Why Are My Parties The Best?

"I am so glad that your momma was able to make it to this Parent/Teacher conference to discuss your plans for college. And if I may ask. Is she single? She looks fun. I know a great party she can go to."

Beltloop And Bill 2020 - The Only Sane Choice

I support this Beltloop. I like the cut of his jib.

And of course, Bill's credentials speak for themselves.

Fridays With The Furies

Make Me A Believer

We live on a Cursed Earth. How is it that our reality has become a president that is so petty and insecure that he would SPECIFICALLY order that there be no sight of the USS John McCain when he was in Japan on the Memorial Day weekend? How would he not even consider that John McCain's daughter, who lost her father ten months ago has such a platform to destroy him as a contributor on The View? He's not a smart politician. He doesn't realize it's a stupid move to so childishly disrespect a man who is his better in every way that matters and an American hero while trump is an American fool. Notice how he hasn't given her a cute nickname like everyone else? Because he knows she will have his balls in a jar if he does. This is your president? How can you support this maggot piece of shit? When is enough enough? How long does he just get to run wild like a toddler on meth? I am done. So I ask you, GOD. When does the idiot trump slip on an wet step or something equally as comical? As long as he is permanently disabled from his own buffoonery. That is the act of god that I need right now. Of course if you are listening, a lightning bolt to a putter would also be pretty sweet to watch over and over again. You do something that good, GOD, you must promise me it will be on video. It will help with our healing after Dear Leader is gone. But you are GOD. Far be it for me to tell the Creator how to do his business. What we need now is OLD TESTAMENT GOD. Remember him? You really knew how to smite somebody back in those days.

Thursday, May 30, 2019

I Love Him

I LOVE HIM. I will name him Anubus and train him to fight the most unholy of dead creatures...THE MUMMY. And that is where Honey Glaze and Danger Cat 2.0 met him in Cairo during an outbreak of mummies. That is already better than most anything on TV today. If I set it in the Cairo Museum and film the episode there the production value on this episode shoots through the roof. I would watch that. Why am I not watching that?

"I should go with you and Danger Cat. I know everything about killing mummies. Not much else but I know how to kill a mummy. Mummies are evil and deserve only death for waking up and making all this trouble. So yeah. I really need to go with you guys if there is a chace I can kill some mummies. Did I say I know EVERYTHING about killing them. Let me get my pack. On the way I will tell you how we are going to kill all these freakin mummies."