Thursday, May 28, 2020

Those Punk Kids And Their Motorized Scooters Went By Me Again And I Am Not Pleased

Those two kids on their scooters road past me on my part of the sidewalk today like they didn't have a care in the world. I SO want to hide behind my hedge and when they next pass push one over and steal his scooter. Then I would test my theory that a 240 lbs mental patient can get any speed with next to no effort on one of those things.

I live only a ten minute walk from the best strip mall in the city. I could do that in half the time with a scooter if they made on for the husky gentleman of adventure that could carry both groceries with a kitty in an contained basket pod like attachment of some design because it's then a 25 minute chore to get the essential and entertain the cat would will see her larger world which in turn will blow her little racist mind.

Sorry about that expression. It's the one I made when the little terrorists on scooters scooted on by without a care or bit of effort in the world. They got on helmets, masks and those cheap but hard to destroy gloves so they be out patrolling the neighborhood and coming back with information about the neighbors. If they had tasers they could also do something when the crows get snotty. T

The only good thing is that it keeps them off their phones because they have to steer and not hit shit. But be kind. This is what quarantine does to a man over time. Six Weeks? Bitch please. 15 years of socially isolating and you can clearly see my beauty has deteriorated to that of some kind of Astronaut combined with a Viking Mole Man. Who could love me?


Debra She Who Seeks said...

I hate those fuckin scooters.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

THANK YOU...and where can I get one or that electric bike with cat basket. I have truly lost it, right.