I suppose I should celebrate this life changing AND death defying moment in my personal history but it's so stupid.
I have been losing some weight lately. I have to pull up my trusty old hanging out around the house shorts more often than I ever have before. This morning as I was taking the laundry downstairs they started to come down and I had to make a quick decision.
*Do I risk tripping and falling down half the stairs with the laundry and end up with something broken AND my shorts around my ankles? Can I deftly combine skills I do not possess to save myself?
*Do I toss the laundry basket to the bottom of the stair and pick up the mess later. Stop. Fix my drawers and then get back to the chore?
*Do I try to negotiate falling drawers, a full and heavy wicker basket, extra stairs and the rail on the OTHER side of the staircase. Do I risk death. Is there leaping involved?
I do. And there is leaping and I think a mid-air 360. I do it all in slippers. Slippers of the GODS I call them now. Made from the wool of the GOLDEN FLEECE (check your Greek mythology kids)
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3 comments:
We knew you had supery powers!
My first thought: "Truly, o dextrous Cal, thou art a hero worthy to wear Jason's mantle."
My second thought: "Hey, how about splurging and just buying yourself a new pair of smaller sized shorts, Mr. Skinny?"
I put them into a box marked FAT CLOTHS as my first shorts of honor.
Then I looked for some sweats to wear and remembered the ones I got for a dollar out of the Sears DOLLAR bin. Oh they fit fine but can't be worn out of the house because they look like colottes with the bottom hem going to mid calf.
Who the fuck is dressing me around here, Hillary Clinton?
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