Saturday, December 31, 2011

This Is Such A BAAAAAD Idea

I, For One, Etc. of the Day: According to Dr. Sue Savage-Rumbaug of the Great Ape Trust in Des Moines, Kanzi, a 31-year-old bonobo in her care, became fascinated with making fire after watching the film Quest for Fire when he was only a year old.

“The movie was released about a year after Kanzi was born and was about early man struggling to control fire,” says Dr. Savage-Rumbaugh. “Kanzi watched this spellbound over and over hundreds of times.”

The chimp soon began collecting firewood and attempting to ignite it. “His demeanour when he focused on making fire was just like when he watched the movie,” says the doctor, who has clearly not watched enough movies herself to know this couldn’t possibly end well.

In addition to his fire-making skills, Kanzi can also understands some 2,000 words through a system of symbols called lexigrams.

Suffice it to say, if he develops a knack for riding horses I’m outta here.

Monkey's playing with fire? This is not going to end well for any of us. I am less impressed with the fire starting than I am with the fact that he figured out how to ROAST something on the fire. How long before YOUR head in on the end of that stick?


Why do these zoo numnuts always underestimate the smart monkeys? You don't give matches to a monkey who can communicate. How hard is that to understand? Why not just gift him a gun and a driver's licence while you are at it. This situation will get out of control, it will get out of control and we will be lucky to live through it.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Didn't they see Planet of the Apes?

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Exactly. Why not just show that that movie where the monkeys are the heroes instead of a movie like 'Quest For Fire' that only makes the monkey feel bad about not evolving as far as those cave man numnuts.

popeyemoon said...

This is fake,but it could happen.