Another Me Meme

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

I remember this day so well. We were on the family farm and I was six years old. My Baba gave me and my cousins a tray of carrot cake and 2L of cream soda. After finishing those off behind the barn I was feeling good about myself and went past my dad who was smoking and asked him if I could have one. He was really excited and said he was happy and waiting for me to ask him. Before lighting it for me he showed my how to hold the smoke and inhale and when he finally put the flame up to the cigarette and I must have inhaled half of it. Then I felt sick and out of me came a stream of carrot cake and cream soda. I laid on the couch for two days filling my puke bucket. To this day I smell cigarette smoke and my brain still remembers the taste of carrot cake and creme soda - two things I can never eat again.

2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?

Lonely and bitter about it but I remain warm in my ennui.

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?

I would be charmed and delighted.

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

 

Yes, because it's never you and always me.

5: Are you interested in anyone right now?

 

No, it's not worth it to disrupt my cool world with all your balloon juices, baby.

6: What are you looking forward to in the next week?

 

My monthly weigh in. I better be where I want to be or I will just give up and do abuse to several Big Macs.

7: Do you want to be single?

 

I don't have the patience for a relationship and no one deserves to be in the path of my righteous wrath.

8: Did you go out or stay in last weekend?

 

I went out and met new people. I thought my head was going to explode from the extra attention and conversation.

9: How late did you stay up last night?

 

Until my ankle monitor went off and I knew they would be coming to arrest me if I didn't sneak home.

10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?

 

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away.

11: Last three things you had to drink?

 

Water, fruit smoothies and cranberry ginger ale.

12: Have you pretended to like someone?

 

Oh god, never. That is cruel. I have had it done to me and I know how soul crushing it can be.

13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

The Chinese delivery boy but in my defence those spring roles are delicious.

14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

The above mentioned Chinese delivery boy. I think we are engaged by his cultural rules.

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

 

Have you met me? Do I ever get over ANYTHING?

16: Think back five months ago, were you single?

 

...think back five years

17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

 

I will look at the clock and tell you later.

18: Hold hands with anyone this week?

No, that would spread the virus.

19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

I need the distillations of the potato to soothe me.

20: What would you name your future daughter?

 

Logan or Skyler or Tamryn, something weird and exotic like that.

      

 

21: Do you miss anyone?

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

 

25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?

The madder I get the quieter I get so when I stopped talking you need to begin worrying.

26: Who did you last see in person?

27: Are you listening to music right now?

28: What is something you currently want right now?

29: What is the last thing you said out lot?

30: How is your heart lately?

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

32: Are you wearing socks?

 

Who am I, the Pope?

          
33: What do people call you?

 

They should call me Big Daddy but that is a nickname you can't give yourself.
 

34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?

36: Who did you last share a bed with?

 

37: Did you do something bad today?

 

Yeh, I killed something. But in my defence his tentacles touched me first.
 

38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

 

39: Do you get stressed out easily?

 

Only when things don't go my way and somebody thinks they are funnier than me.
 

40: Will you sing today?

           

41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

 

No. My problem is telling people something I shouldn't have.
 

42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?

43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?

 

When I was shot at, yeh. But they HAD to do that because weapons were involved.
 

44: What are you listening to right now?

45: What is wrong with you right now?

That is a good one. What is NOT wrong with me right now.

46: What is on your wrists right now?

I should say the scars of my ennui but I don't like the sight of my own blood.

47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

 

From the body of a bullet ridden hobo.

48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?

 

Hot chocolate. Those cider drinkers aren't trustworthy.

49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?

No I make wishes at 7-11.

50: Are you a good artist?

I can see it in my head but can't put it on the paper. I would really benefit from some classes. I wish I would have put time into art as a kid but I was a reader.
 

51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

53: Ever been on a golf cart?

 

Nothing cooler than getting up early to enjoy the golf course. Driving the cart, charming the beer girl, smoking cigars and fudging your score. Those were good times.

54: Do you have trust issues?

I trust you not to ask me about those.
 

55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?

56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?

57: Do you use chap stick?

 

Only on my schmeckle.

58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?

 

Only if it's in the script. I am not a diva. I can work with others.
 

59: Do you have a little sister?

60: Have you ever been to New York?

61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

62: Have you hugged someone within the last week?

63: What were you doing at midnight last night?

 

Running while cutting throats. I have interesting dreams.
 

64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

66: Were your last three kisses from the same person?

67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

Your Momma when she delivered my Christmas baking.

68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

 

I can't sleep with another person. They move and synchronized breathing freaks me out. It's like waking up in one of those spaceship sleep tubes and realized you've been frozen against your will for months.

69: Will next Friday be a good one?

 

Only if the spaceships attack.

70: Do you have many followers?

I am legion....when those numnuts are not UNFOLLOWING me.