Saturday, March 30, 2013

G.I. JOE: Retaliation

 
There are some movies that you see where you know that if you have a bad time it's your own fault for seeing the film in the first place. Lincoln this is not and thank the gods for that. This was the exact kind of matinee that I needed in my life today. Dumb, loud, goofy but a hell of a lot of fun. That is what I thought of G.I. JOE: Retaliation.
 
Now as usual, my opinion counts for crap because I freely admit that I loved the first GI JOE movie so I was primed to enjoy this one too. I hope those truths don't mean that I haven't lost too much of your respect as a reviewer of popular culture.
 
 
The story involves one of these crazy over complicated schemes that Cobra Commander is famous for. Trust me, if the whole evil plan can be defeated by a push of a single button at the last minute then it's not such a great plan to begin with.
 
Build in a couple of REDUNDANCIES ya numnut!
 
I truly was hoping to see more of Cobra Commander. His look and voice were great and of course he managed to escape to fight against the Joe's another day, maybe in the sequel where he can be the villain at the centre as opposed to Zartan, who was the real bad guy in this one. He needed to be more hand-on with this operation. He left too many opportunities to have the JOES mess with this plans.
 
Poor planning kept CC one second from taking over the world, AGAIN!  How does he sleep at night with the memories of all his failures? It's okay if I fail but I am not aspiring to be another Napoleon like Cobra Commander is. I have an excuse to be a failure. With all his resources, Cobra Commander does not. But I digress.

 
The movie certainly doesn't drag and that battle on the mountainside is really fun and inventive in it's stunt work as was the confrontation between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, arguably the favorite characters on each side of the conflict between the Joes and Cobra.
 





Some may say these are the only scenes that you really need to see, so here they are. Just promise me that some wet Sunday in the future, you will look for this one and enjoy an hour and a half of fun with Bruce Willis and The Rock.

I can promise you that in a couple of months I will download this and have it going in the background as I multitask online. I had alot of fun with this one. I hope there will be many more of these to come.

GO JOE!!

 
Though to be totally fair, this mash-up of the US and COBRA flags looks pretty sweet. I would join that stupid organization just to get one of these in their membership kit. It would look pretty keen in my arctic lair.
 

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Will be going on Monday to see it for my Birthday. : )

Kal said...

It's not Shakespere but there are some pretty cool moments for old school Joe fans like us.

The Flying Dachshund said...

No respect lost... I liked the 1st one too, although I disliked Tatum Channing's wooden acting... I can't believe they didn't put Scarlet in this one, as I feel both her and Duke are mainstays in the mythology...

Kal said...

He died early in this one and I didn't miss him one bit. I would have loved to see Shipwreck.

Michael Lynn P. said...

I too really enjoyed the first one, and all in all I liked the sequel too. The one complaint I had was that they didn't mention any of the other surviving Joes from the first one. I would have liked to have heard something about Scarlett. But that is ok. I just hope if they do a third one that the Baroness comes back. It was fun though. I loved the mountain scene and Bruce Willis was just a breath of fresh air. That old rascal.

Kal said...

Maybe the Baroness came in after Snake Eyes and saved Destro and they can be a fly in the ointment to Cobra Commander when he concieves his next stupid scheme. Maybe Scarlet was deep deep undercover and survived the slaughter.

The Flying Dachshund said...

Perhaps we'll find out Duke survived, and we'll get lucky and he'll get plastic surgery so we can get an actor that can at least spell the word 'acting' to portray him...