Sunday, April 7, 2013

What Piece Of Pop Culture Did You HATE As A Kid?

Archie Wood And Friends

You know what I am talking about. These are shows that you were forced to watch either against your choice or because of circumstance. I grew up at a time when I didn't watch TV for five years because we had no English language TV where we lived. I listened to a lot of Armed Forces Radio instead. You got a good education on every kind of music and talk just through all that exposure to variety.

When we returned to Canada we only had 13 channels. But one of the programs that was still on Winnipeg CKY TV was a kids cartoon show called Archie Wood and Friends. There was a bad ventriloquist and his freaky puppet and a dog puppet that he manipulated and did the voices, badly, for. Worst ventriloquist EVER.

They camera guys would fuck with Uncle Bob and show his lips moving all the time. He actually put out an album of him doing his signature song 'Doggy In The Window'. Well he wouldn't sing but would have the puppet lipsynch the original song. It was a nightmare.
He also had a mouse puppet that would sing along to Glen Campbell's 'Rhinestone Cowboy' (don't ask). The Mouse puppet even wrote with a marker in his mouth. Kids copied him and one child had a pen go through the top of his mouth...or so was the urban myth in my childhood circle.

The only redeeming feature about this abomination of a kid's show was that they played Hanna-Barbara cartoons - the good ones - like Yogi Bear and Huckleberry Hound. But they sure put us through a ton of shit just to get to the good stuff.
They would also show gruesome safety films about looking both ways before crossing the road lest you die. I am not kidding, they showed a bloody kid being taken away by an ambulance. The 'cautionary tale' about not playing on roadside snowdrifts was particularly gruesome too.
There was NOTHING fun about FUN TOWN.

The Banana Splits
Oh Lord don't get me started on The Banana Splits. They were the weakest ass characters on the weakest ass show EVER! Their segments were lame, the live action serialized drama was weird, the cartoons were weird. Everything felt OFF. Even their names are stupid and right now I am thankful I can't remember what they were. 
The Banana Splits Adventure Hour was an hour-long, packaged television variety program featuring The Banana Splits, a fictional rock band composed of four funny (funny? That is debatable) animal characters. The costumed hosts of the show were Fleegle (guitar, vocals), Bingo (drums, vocals), Drooper (bass, vocals) and Snorky (keyboards, effects).
I never had the illusion that any of these NUMNUTS actually played their own music. Their songs made the Archies look like The Beatles.
The series was produced by Hanna-Barbara Productions, and ran for 31 episodes on NBC Saturday mornings, from September 7, 1968 to September 5, 1970.
The series costumes and sets were designed by Sid and Marty Krofft and the series' sponsor was Kellogg's Cereals. The series featured both live action and animated segments and is Hanna-Barbera’s first foray into mixing live action with animation.
What kind of fuckin' creatures were The Banana Splits anyways? I think one is suppose to be black and if that is true it's a racist portrayal even for the 70s.
I know what a Teletubby is supposed to be but these guys leave me clueless. I had a cousin who loved this show especially the bad pirate show and would control the channels. I hated to have to sit through this crap to get to something else, ANYTHING ELSE.
I also hate the overenthusiastic laugh track to cover the lame jokes.

I would rather eat the thrirty cents than use the coins to purchase these comics.

The Banana Splits - GAH!
I put this out as a suggestion to a future League of Extraordinary Bloggers post topic but I just did one so I will let someone else have a turn. I just know I would be interested in what answers other people would give to that question.


Drake said...

Tra La La, the banana splits song can damage and destroy your brain.

What the hey is the League of Extraordinary Bloggers?

Probably something the E. Banana will never be a part of.

Tra La la

Dr. Theda said...

Actor, Jan Micheil-Vincent ( of the TV show "Air-wolf") was in that "Pirate Show" .... He was an "Unknown" before then....

The Flying Dachshund said...

Just wanted to let you know, that your Banana Splits "review" had me cracking up!! Good stuff!!

Jordan said...

I absolutely HATED The Flintstones and Gilligan's Island.

Everyone else always wanted to watch them and I just couldn't stand them. Both shows have deafeningly loud laugh tracks, garish colors (especially on badly-adjusted 1970s televisions) and seem to worship idiocy.

Kal said...

Drake, go to cool and collection off my blog list. You would be a great member and our post idea would inspire you I think. Hope you beome part of the team.

Kal said...

I remember Jan Michael as a kid. He always was hidding in trees from those numnut pirates who never looked up in the trees to look for fugutives in the first place.

DrGoat said...

Never was crazy about HR Puffenstuff, although it was pretty trippy at times.

Kal said...

As bad as Puffinstuff was, LIDSVILLE was ten times as worse.

Dr. Theda said...

Yes But "Lidsville" ( the land of "living hats") Starred "Eddie Munster" ( Butch Patrick)

Big J said...

I am gonna be the odd man out and go with Scooby Doo, even at age 6 I felt like this show insulted my intelligence. It's always the SAME DAMN PLOT. Guess that's also why I couldn't stand House MD as an adult. thought I do normally like Hugh Laurie, and would at least admit, Velma was kinda hot.

Timothy S. Brannan said...

I hated the Banana Splits as a kid. Hated it as an adult too.

Cora said...

In the 80's, my little brother and sister LOVED a stupid, stupid, stupid Rubik's Cube cartoon. I couldn't stand it. The whole show was moronic and the way the cube said "my name is Roooooooobik" at the beginning always kind of gave me the creeps. We used to get in big knockdown fights over it because I wanted to watch anything (ANYTHING!!!!) but that Rubik show. *shudder*

david_b said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
david_b said...

Oh, there's many to list. I actually liked the Splits as a child for it's quasi-psychedelia charm, but couldn't take 'Puffinstuff', 'Lidsville', then 'Far Out Space Nuts', that pirate show, etc..

Watched 'Speed Racer' ONLY because I was SOOOOO bored.

When the Monkees were rerun on CBS in '69, they were the BEST by which all other shows were compared to.

Hating most of the Saturday morning fare, I saw the coming of 'Superfriends' as having cool potential, but it quickly disappointed.

Simply no tension or cool action, like what I severely missed from the older Spiderman and FF cartoon shows (or the Marvel Heroes, for that matter..) now long since gone from TV in my midwestern farming area.

The '73 Trek:TAS series was wonderful for having actual scifi writers (like Niven) and the original cast voices. It was great while reading the Blish books and playing with the cool AMT models. In fact, I still take DVDs of the show on military weekends away.

Mike D. said...

As a kid... I hated the Beatles. My Sisters both carried on and on... I witnessed the hysteria they caused firsthand. They were broken up before I could even speak. But the Mania was alive and well in our house. So... I hated the Beatles. Now... I don't hate them. I respect them for their contributions to rock and roll. But I am certainly no major fan. I know...thats crazy right?

Anonymous said...

Growing up in and around Winnipeg I remember some of Archie Wood. The only thing I really still remember was the mouse and Rhinestone Cowboy. I am sure glad I missed out on Bananna Spilts. Although they taste great.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

We watched Uncle Bob every day at our house when we came home from school for lunch. Marvin Mouse was my fave. But I'd forgotten all about Petite! Oh, the memories are flooding back now!

Kal said...

I knew if anyone could confirm my traumatic memories of Uncle Bob it would be you Debra. We have a way of sharing the same places and the same pain.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

And I loved watching that clip again! Thanks for posting it!