Friday, April 25, 2014

Let Me Tell You How All This Ends

Sure at first they terrifying creatures LOOK all cute and cuddly but after they start escaping and breeding in the wild after being overbred in captivity by numnuts trying to make a buck in the SPIDER PET industry.

In the wild, these spiders would multiply exponentially until they overwhelm the nearest ecosystem. Of course the number of predators that eat dinner sized spiders is low so the problem will continue for a long time. Until of course the spiders mutate. Then we have ourselves a motion picture.

A TIGER-STRIPED spider, described as a huntsman on steroids, is set to become the next big thing in pets. The tiger huntsman, which has the diameter of a bread and butter plate, was discovered in rainforest in Kuranda in 2006. The orange and black-striped arachnid, which is still yet to be classified by scientists, is described as a large agile hunter, which can jump confidently from leaf to leaf.

I don't like how freakin' agile these things are.

“I’ve seen them in terrariums, jump and catch a moth in mid-air and land on the opposite side,’’ he said.“They’re like huntsmen on steroids.”

What is one of these HUNTSMEN mistakes my eyelid for a fluttering moth. I swear if one even touched my face. I would FREAK OUT.

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