Sunday, September 15, 2019

And Calvin's Head Explodes In 3...2...1...

I could never solve it. I think by luck I got one side once. I never knew anyone who solved it in fronto of me or know of anyone who did. It was insane and hurt my self esteem. Stupid phenomena. The people who can solve these demon boxes in record time can only be high functioning idiot savants because no regular human can complete this puzzle from the Devil.

Oh and I also hated you people who had cute girls named Tara when I was her boyfriend and left all kinds of these wood and rope and metal ring puzzles on your coffee table. I was not going to solve them and I never saw one of you solve them. It was a nightmare having to sit next to my girl and not be able to hold her hand because I need two hands to force a block through a tiny ring for the entire episode of Barnaby Jones (look it up, kids). FUCK OFF. I am on hour four of small talk when all I want to do is have my cute girlfriend show me the new comfy couch they put in the basement rec room - where there was music, lava lamps and no parents.

But no. I had to be solving spacial relationship puzzles like I was auditioning to pilot the space shuttle.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Where was one of those when I needed it?

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Oh I know. I got a side once, by accident. But I was never one of these people who took it apart to show it completed on their shelves. It's to insanely complicated for my brain. I have intelligence but not for this kind of spacial relations.