Saturday, May 9, 2020

Rants From A Quarantined Life

I know my ONE troll will appreciate this rant because it exposes my suffering. Happy Douchebag Day, Retard. And can you also stop repeating your lazy insults and come up with something else. You accuse me daily of masturbating in my Mom's basement. That is untrue. I masturbate in the bathroom, in the hallway, in the garage, in the bushes, in the dumpster they give you to throw out organic garbage. So get some new material. Try harder and I might respect your hate. As it is now I giggle when I should be terrified by your ability to argue the points which you can't do because you were under educated and born simple. Like your Moma and Popa and all the rest of your extended kin. You just hate because you like to hate and for some reason you have a hard on for me. You are the ONLY one btw which makes you rather sad and pathetic as far as internet trolls go. I am embarrassed to be the the source of your scorn. I don't share your daily rantings for that very reason. I should be able to attract a better brand of arch villain. Instead I get some special needs kid who shares my bus stop but takes a much smaller bus to HIS school

I have been in self quarantine for more than a decade. I did if first and I did it best. No wonder no one checks in to see how I am doing during these modern times of quarantine. Maybe it's because I have no frame of reference or perspective to offer someone new to quarantine.
I don't have to keep a list to remember all of my associates who reached out to see how I was weathering this storm because not one did, With all their abundance of free time they could not type with their ape thumbs so much as hello for a half second for someone in your your Facebook Tribe. (And who has feelings, you know?) You know who those people are. They are the people you only know from Facebook and who react to you posts as you do to their's. Make sense? In other words - a loser.
My life did not change one bit during this Pandemic only everyone around me started to act in weird ways and kept their space from me in public . Again, just what I wished for. Following the arrows on the floor seems like a sensible thing. I like my alone time in front of the canned peaches without being hassled by the man or coughing woman behind me.. It centers me for the day.
I also like that I now take in a list which only gets me close to more food that I really want, POM. I love my POM. It's not BEEP but Beep is close. I feel it.
Oh for those of you who were thinking about reaching out to me after you have read this message, understand I would find that to be most patronizing. I would resent it. I am just venting because I could be losing my mind, I consider the matter closed until we all get to Hell and I get a vote to send you to a deeper level of Hell. At that point I will have to give strong weight to your selfishness while making my decision.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

You are in fine rant form, Cal.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Thank you for always taking the time to leave a comment.