Sunday, July 29, 2012

Bond and Beckham

The opening ceremonies of the London Olympics are still bugging me. They were goofy and stupid yet two days later I can't get them out of my head. Why all that Mr. Bean bullshit? Were they making fun of the quest for athletic perfection? Seemed classless to me.

But what bothers me the most is that whole thing with Daniel Craig as 007 and the REAL FREAKIN' QUEEN OF ENGLAND. You had the makings of something great but you played it so so safe. You could have done so much with the concept if you had just pushed it a little. I realize she's old and privileged but I like to think the old girl has a sense of humor if you explained it to her in the right way.

I liked the little bit between Bond and the Corgis. That could have been played for major laughs when Bond thinks he is rid of them when he and HRH get into the helicopter but then the Queen just hitches them to her parachute harness and takes the dogs with her - as any base jumping monarch is apt to do.

Craig looked great walking through Buckingham Palace. No doubt he was shitting his pants inside but you wouldn't know it. He played the part for Queen and Country. He had the look of a thug who knows he doesn't belong in the palace - just what I would expect from this Bond.

For awhile there I thought they would have David Beckham light the Olympic cauldron but instead had him do something cooler and much less taxing - bringing the torch, by FREAKIN SPEEDBOAT to the stadium and passing under the Tower Bridge WHILE the fireworks went off! How cool must it be to be David Beckham? Except for having to be married to that Skeletor of a wife of his, he's got it pretty damn good. Speedboat! He got to race around in a speedboat and get's to eat free at Hell's Kitchen.



Debra She Who Seeks said...

Maybe the Queen should have had a threesome with Daniel Craig and David Beckham? Prince Philip can't be all that active anymore, not with his bad heart and all.

Kal said...

Now THAT is perverse.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Thank you, thank you very much!