Skyscraper (2018)

I really don't know if I can even review a Dwayne Johnson movie anymore. He always lets you know what you are getting going in and he always delivers. I once wished he would make several movies a year and this year I got my wish. I loved the hell out of Jumanji II, Rampage and now Skyscraper. You either buy into his movies or you don't but if you don't I really can't explain your damage.

If anyone would bitch about formula movies it would be me but dammit I am a sucker for this combination of selfish hero and his endangered family in impossible situations and settings. High concept ALWAYS requires full retard in the execution and this one certainly is that. It's not Die Hard but it's a fine homage to that formula and I am glad Dwayne got this one on his resume. When done right, this kind of film is fun as hell.

That being said they REALLY pile on the smaltz and the coincidences to make the story work. He's the greatest Dad and Husband and Employee and Friend and of course Human Being. He is living a charmed made up life until he no longer is. His wife, of course is the beautiful Neve Campbell and she is the surgeon who saved his life after the bombing that took part of his leg. His kids are gorgeous and biracial and one of them has a medical issue that is exacerbated by stress. Yeh, I know what you are thinking and you are right. Everything here is engineered to produce the right emotion at the right time in the story.

Now is a good time to show you the trailer. After that you can't bail. But you just have to see how this all plays out, don't you?



As you watch notice how every conversation contain information about objects or places that will come in use later on when everything turns to shit. So keep careful notes. The film can't wait to get those incidentals out of the way. Coincidences on top of coincidences.

The visuals here are the real hero. The building is a tech marvel and we see many examples of it's cutting edge construction but that is merely to save Johnsons life and the life of his family later on. I know I know I know.

Why doesn't all this bother me? Am I so bamboozled by the Rock's effortless charm? Even when his character says he is done with the fight you know he's got ONE more fight left in him and that includes enough last minute escapes to use up all a cat's nine lives.

I have to say something about the fight choreograpahy. There are some pretty intense fight scenes and images of children in danger and Neve Campbell in a wet t-shirt, all that will be of interest to different people in the viewing audience. Neve is really quite cool in this one and a badass herself. Where has she been all these years? Now we need a sequel where she is the one who leads the rescue of Dwayne and the kids. THERE is movie two in a huge franchise. Part three involves the now young adult kids rescuing their parents played by Dwayne and Neve. Damn, this is easy. I would tell you part four but that would ruin it but suffice it to say that two spunky house kittens are heavily featured....and it's animated.

 

The rest of the film unfolds like you would expect it to if you have ever seen a movie like this before.

 

Let me look at the list of 'skyscraper on fire' points that his movie covers.

Evil hacker - check

Evil bitch killer who will die in horrible fashion - check

Evil male characters with accents - check

Police manhunt after Johnson - check

Cop on ground who feels Johnson's pain - check

Continually burning building that never is a problem until it needs to be - check

Dwayne performs acts requiring superhuman ability and he never once stops to eat, or drink water or have a pee - check

Dwayne knows how to operate all manner of device or machinery necessary to advance the story - check

Dwayne has all the rope and duct tape he will ever need to do the job when the job needs to be done - check

 

Calvin searches for pictures for this review and finds this poster for a movie that he must see that no doubt follows this same formula - check

 

Whole thing shown on TV so that social media can build maximum sympathy for this brave, wounded hero who is just trying to save his family for evil doers with foreign accents - check

ENGLISH TV coverage from Hong Kong motivates Johnson to further feets of daring - check

Every cop and bad guy is a bad shot. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM - check

My eyes roll in my head for the 100th time - check

As I said I am immune to the movies of Dwayne Johnson. He is a solid old time action hero in a time when such things almost seem old fashion. I didn't hate this one but I also didn't believe for a second that anyone I cared about would die. It's safe and solid and entertaining fare but you have seen it all before.