Godzilla, King Of The Monsters

I hated the trailer to this one. I hated the premise of the story and I hated Millie Bobby Brown touching Godzilla like he is her kitty. In reality Godzilla would roast her with nuclear flame and be done with all that 'Girl Meets Monster' bullshit.

Suffice it to say I hated most everything about this movie and I predicted it would be really crappy back when I first saw that first trailer. But it's worse than that. The human drama has to involve the broken family who's child will killed by Godzilla and it's made to look like Godzilla is making it up to them personally which of course is insane.

These people make the most incredibly stupid decision throughout this film and only survive by the most lame of lame last minutes saves. This movie starts stupid and only gets stupider from there. Trust me. I believed not one second of this balloon juice. It's also filmed in these clouded colors, all dark, as usual, to hide any defects in the effects. It's annoying. NOT EVERYTHING OCCURS AT NIGHT.

Every idea is a bad idea. The worst idea was not including Gamera the turtle who is my favorite of the Kaiju.

Millie Bobby Brown is as one note as she was in Stranger Things. Someone should be telling her that she is playing a 'character'. Not just the bravest, smartest and most spunky kid on the planet. Hell her whole family is so deeply mixed up with all this Godzilla business that it's almost too true to not be made up. And it's still all made up. He parents are suddenly giving the orders on two teams of people who follow their orders for some reason that is never fully understood.

At the start of the movie Godzilla is missing. MISSING??? How do you lose a GODZILLA??? But that doesn't matter because there are 17 more Kaiju out there according to the movie. However when you find Godzilla you can listen to his heartbeat? It's all so stupid. These idiots think Godzilla is a lost kitten and not the FUCKING DESTRUCTIVE FORCE OF NATURE that he is meant to be. It's insane.

It seems like Godzilla is about to fight Monster Zero, who up until now has been frozen in ice. That is until some bad guy breaks it out of the ice and hopes to communicate with the monster using the translator that the Mother invented. Understand? No because it's all so stupid.

I will need to find one of those YOU TUBE videos that properly explain, in order, all the stupid decisions the humans in this movie make like walking into an ambush or not shoot the bad guy when they had multiple opportunities. Or not go with one's FATHER when he is there to rescue you. FUCK YOU MILLIE BOBBY BROWN AND YOUR MOTHER who is a dangerous psychopath who thinks she can talk to the Kaiju. She got lucky with Mothra but her little translation toy will not work on Godzilla. Did I mention worst Mother, EVER?



And since when is Millie Bobby Brown some kind of acoustics engineer?? And why are all these resources being used to save ONE KID with no special abilities to stop the monster madness going on around them. In fact, she is drawing all the monsters to her where they will fight and do more damage where more people will die. I don't buy it for a second.

Speaking of people there are NONE in this movie aside from the actors. It's like they evacuated the whole WORLD when these Kaiju came alive.

And they make the Father, who hates these Kaiju the most feel bad for being happy when one of the dies? WELL DUH. No one should learn or evolve as a person in the middle of a GODZILLA movie! Especially characters who are already dead from all the radiation they have been bathing in all movie.

The Mother is absolutely cold blooded and I wish for her death to occur in the belly of Godzilla. She is goonybird and wants to awaken all the monsters so they can, what? Fight? Or be exploited for fashion and cosmetic purposes? I guess she is doing it to destroy the world and remake things from scratch which is also a really stupid reason for a Godzilla movie.

Why does every monster in the movies just wake up and go batshit crazy on everything. Why roast the humans if you are going to eat them. And if you don't eat humans then what do you eat? Or do you just live to destroy? Then why do you communicate with each other? If you do that then you are sentient? And if you are sentient then what is it will all the destroying shit like a trio of Siamese toddlers? I am talking to you Monster Zero.

Then the missiles start flying and of course kill none of the major players who at that moment are in the middle of where the missiles where aimed at. Plus no falling glass or other spikey debris hits anyone of note in cities that are strangely devoid of people.

I got distracted by more monsters filmed with more smokey effects. It's like watching a Transformers movie where you can't tell who is fighting who. I miss the two guys in the monster suits like they did it back in the 60s.

Well that took long enough. Only when things go out of control does MILLIE BOBBY BROWN tell her Mother that she is a monster. I hope they paid this kid by the word because then they would save a ton of money. No emotion, no passion, no expressions on her face. Nothing aside from the odd smirk here and there.

If I see ONE more scene of people standing in front of monsters bathed in blue light I will go off my nut. OFF MY NUT! I want them all to be roasted by whatever radioactive energy comes out of the butt of the Kaiju. But nothing kills these characters until it's the precise moment when they need to die.

Oh look, one of the main characters sacrificed his life to wake up Godzilla and I don't care one bit. I hate when characters say "It's the only way and we are out of time." Stupid stupid stupid.

I also hate the music that soars at every moment where I should feel sad but I only experience sadness when I see how dumb this movie is, even without the nuclear bomb in Godzilla's house. Yes, he has a house.

The ending is totally predictable and there is also a post credit scene that I thought would introduce KONG into this world but there was none of that. I would recomemend this one for hard core fans of Godzilla and his kind.