Monday, June 21, 2010

Let Us Pray


Some numnut Senator from Louisiana declared a national day of prayer recently to ask God to stop the oil spill. I guess its been long enough. If we cannot stop the leak ourselves then it's time for divine intervention. And while you are at it, 'GOD' (if that actually is your real name) I would like a pony. Hell give everyone a pony.

I bet I wake up tomorrow with the oil still leaking and no pony under my pillow. Damn that God fellow is unreliable. I thought that book of ancient middle eastern fairy tales was the literal truth. In that book, God intervened in the affairs of man all the time. Once he even caused a flood that killed everything (including the dinosaurs) because he was just pissed off.

So is his inaction (and I totally am predicting here that the spill will not be stopped by some supernatural being just willing it to stop - call me a skeptic) more punishment for the bad things we do? Those guys over there with all the guns and bibles tell me he really exists. If that is so then we surely have let Him down and deserve what we are getting.

Certainly, however, the birds and sea creatures that are being killed because of this leak did nothing to upset God the way we mortals do all the time. Why are they being punished? Must be that Leviticus thing where He doesn't want me to eat gay shrimp and is helping me by killing off all the shrimp in the Gulf.

All I can conclude from his failure is that he IS all powerful but he is just a dick. Even if all of us collectively bought into the bullshit balloon juice of religion and asked him ON MASSE to fix the problem (just this ONE little problem - you can still let us do wars and commit other atrocities on our fellow man) he will still have better things to do than even respond.

"Now you will tell me he DID respond but the answer was NO on the oil but YES on the Lakers winning the NBA Championship. All you LA fans should have asked for some cleanup help while you were bugging Him to help Kobie miss less free throws.

So I beg those of you who 'religion' gives some comfort to - please look at how prayer and putting the job of fixing this world into the hands of something that is imaginary does nothing but make you self righteous and keeps you from getting off your ass and helping the rest of us do what is right.

9 comments:

DrGoat said...

I always love it when they say..It's Gods will. This planet deserved better caretakers.

D.I. Felipe González said...

Prayer is the way to do nohing while pretending to be doing something. I'm an atheist, btw.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Join the revolution D.I.

AccidentalFraser said...

It's pretty easy to point to the loons and then paint with that brush so that one can fire off something like "bullshit balloon juice of religion." I don't have a problem with any declared belief system, but if you are going to be a dick about it, you've just joined the biblical literists in "better to just ignore" territory.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Well good for you....ignore away. Buh Bye now.

cardstuntman said...

National Day of Prayer.... FAIL

Nothing, nadda...zip

Want a miracle?!?...
Take a shit ton of bibles and plug up the hole.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Welcome back cardstuntman. National day of prayer failed? What a shock.

Nathan said...

You think YAHWEH can stop the oil spill? Come on, it's obvious we have to turn to Baal for this one!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

We could call on Kali who could carry six scoopers for picking up tar balls and we still would get nothing. Gods are all the same.