Monday, August 27, 2018

Once Again, Some Young Icarus In Some Lonely Pizzaria Flies To Close To The Sun

First you maniacs put pineapple on a pizza. I allowed that to continue but it INFURIATES me in the worst way. I thought you were done with these stupid experiments but apparently, without my permission or even consultation, some brash young upstart has tossed pickle slices onto a pizza. Those look like the bread and butter variety. This is an abomination that only disgraces what we all know as PIZZA Now you are trying to slip this past me, thinking I wouldn't notice?? Well I did notice and once again I must put down the creature that YOU INVENTED. However, due to my strong feelings on the subject, I will fix this problem for free.

"The line must be drawn HERE! THIS FAR! NO FURTHER!!"

You are free to use your pickle in any way you see fit because it's YOUR pickle but please, for the love of all that is sacred, please don't call this mistake a PIZZA because it is not. Call it Flatbread For Mental Patients for all I care but you cannot use the name PIZZA because that will trick someone close to you into eating this. I refuse to have their PROFOUND disappointment with the taste of this 'product' on my soul. So I speak out. I pretty much let your primates do what you like and I don't ask for anything but kindness in return. Well, Bubba, I'm callin my marker due. I don't care how you do it. Just let this one die. Walk away. As the Lord Humungous famously said, "Walk away and I will spare your lives."


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Even though I like pineapple on pizza, I too join you in your condemnation of this outrage! Everyone knows that pickles (especially bread and butter pickles) are never to be put on a pizza but must be consumed with grilled cheese sandwiches only! WTF is this country coming to?

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

All this casual racism has made people think they can see or do anything. It needs to be stopped here and now.

DrGoat said...

Thats got to taste awful. Yuk!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Exactly. Thought the best homemade pizza I ever tasted was a vegi pizza but those were sane veggies like mushrooms and peppers and onions and broccoli which goes with cheese. This looks like someone just went into their fridge for ingrediants.